Episode 76 – Are You Afraid Of Your Shorts


A shocking episode that will leave parts of you breathless! (The lungs.)

  • Mikey and Kris appear on British radio to talk about their new Patreon for Chainsawsuit Original animations, videos and skits — everything goes great, except for the interview part
  • We welcome guest Ben Paddon of Portscenter who sticks around for the whole show!
  • This time it’s Kris and Mikey’s turn to run a deep tag-team on Ben, making him take a quiz that only ’90s kids who aren’t Kris or Ben will remember!
  • Plus a special inaugural appearance by Steel-Throated Swallows. I’m sorry, that is supposed to say “inaudible,” not inaugural

PLUS — check out the pre-order for Issue 1 of Exterminite from Mikey, Len Peralta and Kris. Debuts October 29! Read the first 5 pages here!

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35 Responses to Episode 76 – Are You Afraid Of Your Shorts

  1. Giggleloop says:

    This was an absolute delight. Ben fit in so well with the two of you. You all meshed well together. Quite the threesome! Props to Mikey for standing firm against the combined innuendo double team of Kris and Ben. It can't have been easy; in fact, I imagine it was pretty hard…

    Damn it, Linda – did you get into my Intense Debate account and write that?! Shame on you! 😉

    Honestly, this was great. Ben is welcome back any time – wait, I'm not authorized to make that decision? Shoot. Well, any time Ben wanted to pop in and British up the place (that's not offensive, I hope?) a littl' bit ™, I would not be opposed to it one bit, is what I'm saying.

    • LMcCJ says:

      Own it, Becky.

      • Giggleloop says:

        Fiiiiine. Owned. If I'd given it more thought, I surely could have stepped up my innuendo game. Conversely, I don't know if I could have given it more thought and still retained the ability to form sentences. So there's that. 😉

        (Jeffster, you're the best bad influence ever. ♡)

  2. Kyle_Douglas says:

    "My brain thinks everything in non-linear order." – Mikey Neumann, Doctor Who S8E9, "Flatline"

    Speaking of, I appreciate Mikey defending Torchwood Miracle Day, since it saved me a paragraph or two of this comment :p Even if, yes, Children of Earth was unquestionably better.

    Commendations to Paddon for taking this week's best moment in that opening bit with the "So you two are the creators of YouTube" "Oh, you work at YouTube, which I believe is owned by Microsoft now" exchange. It can be difficult to pull off lines like that, it can be difficult to step in as a guest on a show, and so to succeed at both simultaneously is impressive.

    Both commercials were also wins this week, with the ONE TWO THREE drop into New Age-y music and "You're barking up the right cow, alpha dog!"
    Other memorable moments: "It was under the table. How did you even see that?", "Some Indian countries… like India.", "I know who John de Lancie is!", "DTQ: Down to Quiz"

    My other favorite moment was Kris responding immediately "Do you honestly want to know what she's up to? Because I know." to Mikey wondering what the star of Small Wonder was doing now. The fact that Kris knew that and this is the second (third?) time he's brought up the Small Wonder forums on the podcast leads me to wonder (ha) whether Kris has a secret shrine to the show.

    I'm not sure what's happened to my quiz instincts following my 3-10 score last week. 7 questions into it I had only gotten 2 right. I was able to recover to coin-flip-level 7 out of 14 by guessing the opposite of what my instinct was on all remaining questions. Gotta solve these quiz yips somehow.

    Lastly, I'll answer an unresolved moment from the episode:
    Raja Gosnell directed Home Alone 3, his first Director gig. He then directed Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo 2, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Smurfs, and Smurfs 2. He was also an editor on both the original Home Alone movies, Pretty Woman, Mrs. Doubtfire, and uh… Teen Wolf Too (2).

    With no criticisms to be had this week (except the quiz music being mixed in a bit too loud), I'll certify this episode as being better than most of those movies combined.

    • BostonSean says:

      This is true, sometimes I tweet Jason Bateman and remind him that he starred in Teen Wolf Too just so he knows someone remembers.

  3. olivejuice says:

    not sure if the kris and mikey back and forth thats more negative in tone is real or not.

  4. concerned listener says:

    The link to the five pages of Exterminate doesn't go anywhere!

  5. BostonSean says:

    another piece free Baby's day out trivia:
    Verne Troyer (Mini Me) was the babies stunt double
    not a joke, a real fact

  6. BostonSean says:

    I shouldn't post as I listen to the show, i should wait til the end and get all my thoughts out.
    I wanted to correct Mikey, they never once SHOWED the awful waffle, they held the kid down and they showed the kids taking out a racket and syrup but they never showed the act.
    So NOT child abuse!

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Yeah, I looked it up last night and sent that to Kris. The power of suggestion! I totally believed that I'd seen it, but they had not.

      • BostonSean says:

        My friends and I would spend many a day on the playground trying to figure out exactly what an awful waffle was, as children we reasoned that if it were as simple as beating someone with a racket and pouring syrup on them they would have shown it.
        I wish i could remember what some of the outlandish scenarios we concocted but 1990 was so very long ago

  7. ThomasG says:

    Mikey's "Legends of the Hidden Temple" move resonated with me.
    Also the reference to the man with the custom M16. Who never hold or uses an M16 in the game or on the artwork for said game. (I just researched a bit and found that this is wrong… still, I swear I never saw one on my friend's cartridge or recall seeing one in-game)
    Good show, chaps! Good show.

  8. Woo says:

    On #4, it was the journey of allen strange, not alien strange. They even had the moment in the first episode where they made the leap from alien to allen for the guys name. Groundbreaking stuff. That actor now plays a TA on the show Perception. Thank you Wikipedia, but more importantly thank you Kris, Mikey, and other guy.

  9. LMcCJ says:

    As Ambassador General of the chainsawsuit Podcast I extend an open invitation to Ben to come back any time. He was an excellent fit and held up his end (even during those 2 1/2 minutes when he didn't say anything). One caveat: when he returns he must say "foliage" for us again.

    I heartily recommend Candy Authority to all listeners and I'm sure Ben will find enough material on American candy in his Halloween Treat Bag to last until his sister mails him a box of British goodies for Easter.

    I stand with Ben and Kris on Nickelodeon. My score of 2/10 on the quiz bears this out.

    Kris, seriously, you don't know about the double-clap so Mikey knows where to put the music? Pay attention.

    Looking forward to the 7 missing hours of podcast as a patron exclusive on Patreon *and* the future event with Ms. Nika (who can also be supported on Patreon).

    • Giggleloop says:

      In addition to 'foliage', might I also suggest more discussion of 'shrubberies'? (That's a commercial waiting to happen.)

    • Ivan says:

      I still want to know more about your experience with "double-clap" — that's got to burn like hell, in most configurations, doesn't it? Or was your experience more of the 'Keflex' type cure – unseen, unheard from (no screaming!) at least until it was revealed, by a blood test?

      I've never heard of anyone having a "soundtrack" after testing positive – but people on the West Coast do things different than Chicago, Atlanta, and Boston! I can imagine some kind of New-Age, Dream-Catcher/Pyramid thing going on with a chlamydia Dx.


    • The Future Event of Ms. Nika would have been another good title for a Nick show.

  10. SheanaM says:

    Mikey I hope you were issued a ticket and a fine for that English accent, especially in the commercial, good heavens.

    Ah jeeze, the Nick memories. So very many Nick memories. I try very hard to not be one of those OH WOW YOU NEVER SAW THAT YOU HAVEN'T LIVED people when it comes to stuff these days, but not gonna lie, there was a great deal of teeth gnashing and internal screaming during this episode. How are there people who have not watched or even *heard* of Legend Of The Hidden Temple aaaaaaaa

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      The accent of the Music Minute host being all OVER the place was … the point.

      I made it as horrible as I could.

    • frostyplum says:

      I had never heard of Legend of the Hidden Temple until a few years ago, when a group of friends several years younger than me started referencing it. I think I was the slightest bit wrong age for a lot of what Mikey mentioned.

      • Giggleloop says:

        Same here. This youngsters with their Snick and their Hidden Temples. Back in my day, we have You Can't Do That on Television, and reruns of the Monkees. And we LIKED IT. (We didn't have much of a choice, really.)

  11. megan_made_this says:


    Olmec is super disappointed in you, Kris. I hope he doesn't send the Temple Guardians after you, 'cause those dudes will mess you up.

  12. Boyz II Men says:

    The beef jerky commercial just might be the funniest thing I've ever heard. I hit the rewind 4 times in my car, sooooo good.

  13. frostyplum says:

    As Ben said breathlessly when confronted with Kris's "Nickel Flicks," Great Muppety Odin.

    To keep the theme of facts that sound totally made up but are not: Ben and I dated for a little while, so this was a treat for me on many levels. I love to do British accents, but I was so self-conscious around him, I couldn't do one. So I'm burning with jealousy that Mikey was able to do his awesome Cockney/nebbish Kermit thing with Ben's approval. Loved both commercials, although I'm not sure if Kris was goading us about our "face, dick" or "facedick." Either/or.

    So Steel-Throated Swallow's new album is gonna be part of the Patreon, yeah?

    On a more plausible note, I was listening to an old CSS where you guys floated Patreon in the first place, and mentioned Saw It With You as a possible reward. Could….that…be….a thing….please?

  14. I think I may be scarred for life after Natalie's Backseat, Four-Way Farm, and the Naked Brothers.
    …and on a watch-list for posting this comment

  15. Desybell says:

    OMG…all these Nick shows! My childhood came flooding back so fast.

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