Episode 74 – Travoltian


Grab three (3) of your favorite glowsticks, because this is one rave of an episode! This week, we hammer the following into oblivion:

  • Kris sends Mikey to an adult education class to learn about baby care
  • Your topics are chosen! Send your subjects for us to discuss in a future show to choose@chainsawsuit.com.
  • What are Kris and Mikey’s least favorite jobs?
  • The nature of being typecast
  • Iron Man 4? But at what cost?
  • PLUS new commercials you won’t forgive forget!
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17 Responses to Episode 74 – Travoltian

  1. krisstraub says:

    Hi I'm professional soundalike voice actor Kevin "Beats" Ramber and I filled in for both Mikey and Kris this week. AMA.

    I'm also good at mimicking people's IntenseDebate accounts.

    • Nuurgle says:

      I'm sorry, but we're now sponsored by "those other guys", so you can't use the "Beats" moniker any more. You shall henceforth be known as "Bose-O"

  2. Kyle_Douglas says:

    In my personal canon for the show, Hank Dabloon isn't just some dangerously incompetent teacher. No, he's an in-your-face marketing expert. If you take his "Personal Hygiene Pro-tips" course it's filled with terrible advice, but the only thing he really wants you to listen to is:
    "So some people say that brushing your teeth for two minutes is boring, because they're right! Haha, you know what I'm talkin' about? But let me tell you, you stick Marvel's Avengers in your Blu-ray player and you're good to go. You'll be done brushin' before Tom Hiddleston starts talkin' – you can look forward to that two minutes the next time yer brushin'! Simple. Easy. Two months later, you've watched the whole movie and your teeth are shining brighter than Iron Man's armor!"

    I hear that type of guerrilla marketing sometimes happens online too. People being paid to feign being an active member of a community by leaving comments on, say, a podcast every week while their real goal is just to subtly work in something like Guardians of the Galaxy being available for digital download on November 18th and on Blu-ray on December 9th. Personally, I find it disgusting that companies would resort to such tactics just to trick people into reading about the wildly funny blooper reel and hype-worthy preview of Avengers 2 available on the home media release of this summer's biggest hit with heaps of irreverent humor and stunning visuals in spades.
    Or, you know, so I hear.

    In seriousness, that "This message paid for by Hank Dabloon" at the end of Kris' commercial caused one of the biggest out loud laughs the show's ever got out of me. It – and its implications – caught me completely off guard.

    Moving on to less Hanky things: I knew that was Mikey's voice I recognized in Futto Fetisshu no Kyokutan'na! I think he did a really great job capturing the true essence of Japanese fascination with feet and it's a shame he doesn't do more anime dubbing :p

    I actually did consider doing a quickie photoshop of Mikey's foot fetishist show from the Straub's Jaubs topic, but I'm pretty sure that would be deeply disturbing, so I decided to inspire instead.

    I'm not really sure what to say about Segment 3 besides the fact that Oatmeal Raisin Bran Cookie is a pretty long codename for Straub Jr. So I'm going to shorten it to ORBC. Orbsie Straub. Yep. That's going to stick.
    (No it won't)

  3. LMcCJ says:

    Tip for the doughnut shop, which shall remain nameless: Stand Timmy out at the side of Route 9 wearing a doughnut costume. He'll stop eating the doughnuts and bring in customers.

    The Dildolarity. *waits expectantly*

    Imagine what Ted Kaczynski could have been if he only had a Twitter account.

    Yoda is bullsh't. The Daisy girl scouts (Kindergarten and 1st grade) don't earn badges, they earn Try-Its. They don't have to "do" sh't.

    The whole Downey/Gibson/et al. can of worms. I keep typing and deleting. One day, in a quiet bar, I'll pontificate. I wholeheartedly support eating racists, though.

    Enjoy your vacation Mr. Neumann. Kris, I predict KrisJr will not cry, not even once, while your family is in town and they will wonder why you've been whining so much. Happens every time.

    • frostyplum says:

      I reject Mikey's above statement. THIS is the best comment ever.

      • LMcCJ says:

        Now, now, this isn't a competition (S_ck it, Kyle!).

        Let me just take this opportunity to let everyone know that if they're ever in need of advice, chainsawsuit's own Frosty Plum is wise, objective, and fair–with the added bonus of being able to make you laugh too. How lucky we all are to have her here. *ships actual Chainsaw of Love to Chicago*

  4. BostonSean says:

    Hank Dabloon does make a very good point, babies don't have any money

  5. Billy Huntems says:

    …specifically, bounded harmonic functions.

  6. ThomasG says:

    the TED talk was my favorite segment, though all-around this was a great ep.

  7. frostyplum says:

    Wow, "The Foot Fetishist" sounds like the comic series Chew, but completely awful.

    You make fun of Hank Dabloon (Doubloon? I hope Mikey got his money's worth1!! XD), but the man knows his homemade Arby's. To save time, he pulps it up Magic Bullet-style into his famous Horsey Slurry, perfect for weaning your wee ones. He also has a restraining order, mandating all babies stay at least 500 feet away from him at all times. It's for the best.

  8. Ricky says:

    I just want to clarify that I meant that most people don't KNOW what all you do Mikey. "Oh, he was the voice of Scooter in Borderlands". But you also did all this other stuff that they don't know about. I think my choice of the word typecast confused that.
    Anyway, thanks for answering my question guys. 😀

  9. sheanam says:

    The mental image of a tongue as a giant mobile tooth in the middle of your mouth is probably the most horrible one I've had in a while, and I read Broodhollow. Thanks very much for that! Alternate response: AAAAAAAAAA

    In regards to some of the *other* stuff talked about in the 'cast this week…uh. Hooboy. Not really sure what to say or *how* to say it. I keep coming back to 'huh. ….huh. hm.' and pursing my lips a little. Possibly best to leave it at that.

  10. @JRBSFX says:

    Ah sorry Kris, I knew I should have gone with the more obviously pronounceable "Straub's Jaubz™." I promise I know how to pronounce your name!

  11. Giggleloop says:

    Hey y'all. I have been shirking my commenting duties as of late! I feel guilty. Let's try to get back into that zone, shall we? *cracks knuckles*

    I have immensely enjoyed the last few week's shenanigans in the A block, with the voicemails and other skit things. Gotta keep those soundscape audio production muscles limbered up! Seriously though, they're ridiculous and absurd and hilarious. The Hank Doubloon thing killed me. "Basketball cat. Yep. Got it."

    Good to hear some topics being chosen again, and they fueled some interesting conversations, to be sure. I love that you guys can go from being ridiculous and silly, to discussing the damn Unabomber and Mel Gibson in the same podcast. And it didn't feel unnatural or inorganic to me in any way. That's just where the conversation happened to take you. And neither of you tried to cut it off or switch topics, you rolled with it – which is great. You're learning! :) It doesn't have to be nonstop silliness all the time; I'm sure others besides myself enjoy just listening to the two of you discuss what is on your minds – be it copyright marks owned by Guy Fieri, or what's going on with your various projects, or how to separate the art from a flawed artist. Bravo, gents.

    To bring this home – seriously, thank you two so much for the (seemingly endless) amount of joy you give me each week. When I listen at work, whether new episodes or old, I laugh my ass off, much to the chagrin of those around me. (I'll even admit, that once or twice when one of you had said something that caught me by surprise, I have said out loud, "MICHAEL." or "GODDAMNITKRIS." [Not very loud, but loud enough. Involuntary reaction – couldn't be helped!]).

    But I don't care! My chuckles and guffaws cannot be contained, I tell you! I mean, my name is Giggleloop for a reason. Appropriate pseudonym is appropriate.

    (Intense debate, if you eat this mammoth tome of a comment, so help me, I'm breaking up with you.)

  12. Huw_Gault says:

    So, hey. Finally caught up to the present- or at least, close enough to the present that I feel like leaving a comment isn't weird.

    Mikey, I'm not sure how well versed you are in american interwar history- because, um, I respectfully put it to you that you are wrong in claiming that racism was an oddity in american popular culture in the 1920s and '30s. Certainly it was waning, and as such I agree that Lovecraft's racism cannot be forgiven as 'just part of the times'- indeed, he was crazy racist by any standards (read "The Street" sometime- short, and perfectly encapsulates his opinions). But he was by no means alone in being racist; many prominent figures at the time had some opinions we would consider unforgivable today.
    It's tempting to think of the interwar period as being Modern Times, but they just weren't. They were more like the Cambrian Explosion of Modern Times- a lot of Modern Things began then, but they were also trying out a whole bunch of other things which were quietly buried. Including a revival of Weird Racism.

    Disclaimer: I am not an expert on this subject either. My credentials are: I've read a lot of Lovecraft, and I've read Bill Bryson's "One Summer something something 1927" (which is a fascinating book about american interwar culture. Did you know that Henry Ford though that the earth's crust was too weak to support the weight of skyscrapers, and predicted that more people living in cities would cause earthquakes? That's why he wanted more people to have cars! (I'm not sure about that last part))

    Great podcast, 8/10, needs more historical research.

    Yours Truly, Imsorryforthispointlesscommentpleasedonthateme

    • Huw_Gault says:

      Actually, whoa, belay that. Don't look up that Henry Ford thing. Because now that I think about it, "Did Henry Ford (The All American Industrialist) Do This Crazy Thing?" would make a great quiz. I'mma make that.

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