Episode 68 – The Blow


The blow – n. (slang) A joke good enough to close the scene. Also called “the button.”

Kris and Mikey search high and low for the blow, and along the way they:

  • Hit all the to-dos on your Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
  • Talk gendered nouns
  • Uncover a little of what’s happening at PAX — yes, our panel Saturday will be streamed via Twitch!
  • Dig into haters vs. the merely slightly-disappointed
  • Take a quiz one of you submitted! Submit your topics and/or quizzes to choose@chainsawsuit.com
  • Do their best — and believing in each other, they just might find the right button for the episode.

PLUS! What?! It’s another Movies with Mikey — this time, checking out the classic Renny Harlin/Geena Davis/Samuel L. Jackson flick The Long Kiss Goodnight!

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31 Responses to Episode 68 – The Blow

  1. caulk the wagon and float it!

    I remember when I was the quiz master.

    Glory Days, well they'll pass you by….

  2. Kyle_Douglas says:

    Mikey Neumann – Chainsawsuit: The Podcast, Episode 1
    "I'm also the voice of Scooter in Borderlands, which I will not be doing on the Podcast."

    Mikey Neumann – Chainsawsuit: The Podcast, Episode 68
    "Obama! Oh, is this what we're doin'? Hey! Catch a ride!"

    Is there any more clear cut demonstration that this show has lost all integrity? Like, structural integrity. If this podcast were the Enterprise its warp core would be beyond breached. We're talking spraying drive plasma across six sec—-

    YEAH! HA! Put 'em up now! ♫

    Actually, this is probably my favorite episode since 55 and "56?" both of which I recall particularly liking (62 also sticks out in my mind). Mikey made a joke about doing my feedback before I could do it myself by pre-calling the mini-4th segment a step down from the rest of the show (which it wasn't). You ended up doing so by talking about and using the fake ending gags which I'm an absolute sucker for and was definitely my favorite bit in the latest MwM and this episode.

    My quiz results this week are a bit odd. I fell behind early on, but then caught back up with the game critic one and Super Craft Brothers. If you allow me the point on the very first question that Mikey absolutely knew for certain was real, then I beat our hosts with 8/10. If the fact that I definitely would have called "fake" on that one if not for Mikey's certainty means I shouldn't get the point, then I tied with 7/10. Personally, I think I shouldn't get the point.
    It gets even more complex if you give our hosts half a point for the one Kris had right but Mikey didn't.

    Kudos to our resident Planeswalker for a solid quiz!
    Based on commentary on the other quizzes that were presented, my own quiz has been banished to *Googles Magic the Gathering lore* the plane of Zendikar, never to be seen again. Ah well, I'll try submitting another in a few weeks.

    I honestly do think this episode is a prime showcase for the Podcast. It features an extended rather serious conversation that's still peppered with humor and amusing tangents that keeps it fresh and interesting throughout. A recurring segment with audience participation. Great brand commercials (which only could have been improved by turning Mikey's mopey RC exec up to 11 via Kris' Droopy Dog voice). And then it closes strongly with a brief FourthMeal™ spurred by FrostyPlum.
    And that's not even mentioning segment one with its fantastic standing desk versus bed and hierarchy of needs back and forth. "We're havin' a baby over here. I shouldn't even be doing this!"

    I'm putting this comment on Steam Greenlight as a game with multiple endings. Choose yours!
    Light Ending: Kyle watches the last episode of Buffy and bakes cookies.
    Dark Ending: Kyle munches on silica gel packets while updating his deeply disturbing shrine to the podcast with a Sony Walkman that loops Mikey saying "I love you Kyle Douglas!" over and over.
    True End: Kyle complains about Season 4 of Buffy while eating nachos slathered with Pace salsa, causing Mikey to banish him to Zendikar.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      And easily one of your best commenter recaps in a while as well!

      And hey! I was telling a story about how I took a chance on something that just happened to be Scooter–Oh god, you're right. I am a fraud!

      ♫ YEAH! HA! Put 'em up now! ♫

      I actively tried *not* to slide into Droopy on the commercial (and failed). Not sure if it was obvious, but it's a spin off of Kris Guy Fieri lawsuit commercial because Krambler was a lawyer's name, so Bastien Krambler was his brother.


      ♫ YEAH! HA! Put 'em up now! ♫

      • Kyle_Douglas says:

        Hey, look man, I get that. Totally missed that connection. But all I'm saying is that Droopy is a cool dog and this podcast could use one. Pretty reasonable demand, I'd say.

    • ThomasG says:

      You're killing it, Kade. Murder in the 1st.

  3. MrBildango says:

    How about 'foie revoir'

    okay goodbye.

  4. brock says:

    I liked the part where they discovered the blow was inside them all along.

  5. Ricky says:

    So I think this podcast should have been scarier.

    That said, I yawned during that opening bit, which was really funny. It reminded me of that commercial you guys did where the traffic copter guy yawned and caused a major wreck. He got executed. My score on the quiz was abysmal. I stopped trying after I'd missed about four of them. So I'm going to call my score 1/10. At least I got the first one right.

    I just want to say that I really enjoy listening to you guys talk. Something about this episode really highlighted that fact for me, especially segment two and the end of segment three. Your conversations are just really interesting.

  6. Jeff says:

    Awesome as usual guys. Nobody blows like you do!

    Thanks for speaking out against calling people fat fedora wearing neckbeards. The fedora thing in particular bothers me because I did wear fedoras for a long time but recently put them away because of all the negativity surrounding them. The fedora thing is more associated with condescending atheists than MRAs, and it got to a point where I couldn’t talk about religion while wearing a fedora because I was just auto-dismissed as an asshole. In reality I have a pretty utilitarian view of religion. If it does something for you that’s cool, but I will rail against literalism and justifications for ignorance and intolerance.

    Then there’s the trendy narrow-brimmed hipster fedoras which aren”t really the same thing, but they all get lumped together. I thought it was annoying when I got Indiana Jones or Inspector Gadget comments but this is all so much worse.

    How can we rehabilitate the fedora?

    • Momomomo says:

      Concerning fedora, I like to associate it with the 50s or earlier, where it was a dressy gentleman accessory! I think taking inspiration from guidelines from that time, it can come back. As long as you know why you're wearing it, and you like it.

      What do you think of the chainsawsuit comic about TimeRuiner and fedoras "then vs. now"?

    • @Spec_2 says:

      I think the fedora is still okay in certain situations. Like a fedora which matches your suit? Probably not going to get called out on that. A straw fedora with like, a hawaiian shirt or other obvious beachwear? Probably okay because of the context. A fedora with jeans and a nerdy T-shirt? Yeah, now you're likely to draw attention in a bad way.

      To quote from a recent Cracked article, "The problem is, while I want to wear a fedora, I don't want to be the dude standing out in a fedora. I have no intention of the world saying, "Hey, check out the dude in a fedora!" It's more wanting to be part of a time when you could wear one without anyone caring." The problem is, that time has passed, and I really don't think anything is going to bring it back. That's okay though; there are other great hats out there. Or, dress well enough that the fedora is a logical extension of your outfit rather than a part that sticks out to others.

      • @lowguppy says:

        It's true, that time has passed and it makes me sad. I'm searching for an appropriately nerdy baseball cap now. I'd go for a bowler but that would feel weird, like dating someone who looks kinda like an ex. Just a constant reminder of what you couldn't have.

  7. ThomasG says:

    This podcast needs to be a different podcast.

    Interestingly, Mikey's chips-crunching didn't bother me nearly as much as "spicy drool." In a good way. Really. It was a giggle while cringing kind of thing.

    Great episode, guys.

  8. knowonesdesigns says:

    Aww you used my quiz. Thanks guys!

  9. knowonesdesigns says:

    Also, as a Magic player, when Garruk came out I thought it was awesome. Then I realised its just another name people will confuse mine with. Come on, Garrick is not that hard people. It is completely different from Garrett, Eric, Darrick, Gary, Garruk, etc. It's like you have never heard an Olde English surname misappropriated as an american first name before!

  10. Tazsul says:

    Great episode, but truly match energy levels Kris needs to pound a six shot coffee while Mikey double doses Nyquil. Mikey totally made me yawn, so add another tic to that column, and you made me want salsa at 6am you jerk.

    I am the developer for all of those games, even the made up ones so 30/10 on the quiz. #Lie

    I am loving Movies with Mikey. I love the idea of a funny positive review, and so far you execution is good. Two observations so far from me. 1) I completely forgot how on template the Jim Henson ninja turtles were! 2) I’ve never seen Long Kiss Goodnight, and had no idea it was an action movie. I guess I was too young, but now I think I have too go find it.

  11. Momomomo says:

    Thanks guys this was such a great episode! It really made me feel happy. I like it when you just talk about stuff – that second segment when you just talked without even thinking of a quiz is some of my favorite stuff of yours.

    Also, I just started playing my first Borderlands game, (Borderlands 2). Every time I hear Scooter, I need to double-smile because it's funny and it's Mikey, from the Podcast!
    I'd be interested to hear more about how the Borderlands tone in general developed, and your involvement. Any chance you'll talk about it in more detail on podcast? Or have you talked about it before somewhere?

  12. frostyplum says:

    Aww, another topic of mine read. Suck it, Kade! (j/k, nothin' but love) I love wresting good answers out of you guys, but then again, you are both very wrestable.

    Mikey's run-in with the PA boyz echoes my own fears of taking on someone else's voice. Even though we're pretty much nothing but amalgams of other people's ideas run through our own filters, I worry when I lean too much on one influence. Becky visited me this weekend (chainsawsuit: Making Strangers Friends™) and I'm sure she could tell you, concentrated Mikey and five years of K Straub have an effect on one's cadence and humor. I'm terrified of taking on too many of CSS's personality tics, but then I remember, I do the same from other sources. They key is just to strike a good balance, and never let anyone know the real you.

    Can't wait for episode 60-whatever, which will be nothing but fake endings. (Maybe a happy one if we're lucky!)

    • Giggleloop says:

      What?? You mean that's not your real personality! Lookit this jackaaaaass, I'm outta here, g'bye.

      Oh hell, now I'm doing it. Ah well, if ya can't beat em…

  13. sheanam says:

    Every time you guys talk about how you actually first met and got to know each other I frown a little bit because it clashes with my headcanon involving eyes meeting across a crowded room while a Carpenters song plays in the background somewhere.

    Mikey, they're called the X-Men because they were created in the early '60s by a middle-aged man. :) Back then they really WERE the X-Men, plus Token Girl Member Who Doesn't Really Do Much. It was when Chris Claremont reigned supreme over the comic for the better part of two decades that all the really cool female characters started showing up and blossoming. This is something that's been one of the main talked about points in recent episodes of a delightful comic podcast called Rachel & Miles X-Plain The X-Men; Claremont was a feminist who did some really cool things with the X-Men (and other chararacters like Ms. Marvel) that modern day comic writers could take a page or two from. And then later on is also when you start to get the neutrally named teams, like Excalibur and X-Factor and so on.

    I think the "haters gonna hate" thing basically comes down to 'certain people are gonna act like jerks no matter what you do, so whatever man keep on trucking'. And yeah, while it's kind of insane how much into the fedora neckbeard stereotype so many of these guys fall into, focusing on that stereotype and being overly shitty about it is no good. My ex-BF, who I'm still on friendly terms with 'cos he's a pretty good human being, enjoys fedoras and My Little Pony and a few other MRA cliche things, but he is very much NOT that sort of person.

    • ThomasG says:

      i feel like I've missed a lot in pop culture. I had no idea MLP and fedoras were signs of men's rights activism

  14. youngfrey says:

    This is a personal issue for me, but I'm pretty much done the second a person eats on mic. This wasn't as terrible as the Stouffer's episode, but it sounds like I missed out on some cool stuff.

  15. @Spec_2 says:

    I finally caught up so I can now join the conversation while it's still going on! Hooray! And congratulations Kris and Marlo!

    The discussion on criticism was great! And, somewhat embarrassingly, the point on fedora and neck-beard resonated with me. I'd actually just recently had that same conversation with a friend of mine. It's like… I know I fit many of those MRA stereotypes (white, heterosexual, male, relatively large, wore fedoras in high school, hate shaving and tend to let my neck-beard get out of hand) but it actually hurts when fedora or neckbeard are used as shorthand for misogyny. And yet I'm really loathe to actually complain or protest when someone uses that because it's such a privileged complaint to make. It feels like it can't come off any way but "excuse me, but I, as a white heterosexual male am offended, and this must be remedied before the larger conversation on the loathsome behavior of MRAs continues."

    So basically, another problem with using the clichés to take down misogynists is that it might actually cause more collateral damage than the targets who are probably super used to defending themselves from such barbs.

    Also, the addition of the music for the repeated blows totally made that joke. Hat's off to Mikey for the attention to detail that elevates the show.

  16. @giggleloop says:

    I haven't commented on this week's episode yet?! Okay let's see. Relaxation sounds good on you, Mikey, I approve. This was an enjoyable episode all around. As I was listening in the car on my way to work, I don't have quiz results to share. I didn't do great though. Thanks for mentioning my quiz, sorry it wasn't up to snuff. I don't know much anime either, so I can understand. I'll keep trying!

    Congrats on the new addition to the family, Kris. :) Will the PAX ban apply to Uncle Mikey as well? Hope y'all get to get acquainted prior to the con.

    Great question by Frostyplum to round things out too. I love that you used the Buffy cookies analogy. If missing out on meeting each other earlier, meant that now you get to be besties, then that's entirely worth it in my opinion.

  17. LMcCJ says:

    It’s taken me a while to get to the podcast this week but, I’m sure you didn’t notice since Kyle is YOUR FAVORITE!

    “I’ll dead pan you into submission.” Does not make for great podcastin' comedy but, I'd love to see you do this at a party!

    In my mind, and sometimes when I Retweet, it’s “Revisit Movies with Mikey” but “Celebrate” works as well.

    I still haven’t figured out Comments. It’s probably because everyone interprets their use a different way. I get that Mikey is involved in more long-form, updatable projects that can be “improved” going forward so he will see more of what might be called constructive criticism. But, I have seen Kris get the “Cyanide and Happiness had a funnier 9/11 comic than yours”-type remark. Two different situations. But, definitely, when the Commenter doubles-down, it’s a clear sign they aren’t looking to help. F’k the haters, I say.

    I don’t know a thing about games so I didn’t take the quiz. Never discuss games again on the podcast.

    (I thought question #3 was the *best* and I had no idea games could switch to child safety mode and be all about balloons and confetti. That’s so cool! See, I learned something.)

    My husband and I met 10 years before we started dating. He hit on me and when I didn't respond he immediately moved on to my sister. He fully admits that if we had “gotten together” immediately, we never would have made it. Let’s just say, at that time in his life he was exclusively doing wind sprints and it took 10 years for him to appreciate the benefits of marathons.

    Loved listening to you find the blow. I had no idea podcasting was so technical.

    Ep 69—Record the podcast naked but don’t tell us (you still owe us from the promise you made in ep 10) or not, you know, whatever Kyle wants.

  18. Emimonster says:

    I've browsed a decent amount of games going through Greenlight, and I still can't believe some of those were real.

    Also, LMcCJ's totally right about comments.

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