Episode 61 – The Top 6 Numbers From Lost, Ranked


Welcome back from the other side of a week of special E3 podcasts! We’re back to normal but that doesn’t make the show any less special, with

  • A return visit from Buzz Calhoun
  • Kris and Mikey getting into a sleeping bag together
  • Another devastating quiz (post your results in the comments!)
  • And many, many topics topicked about!

Lose the grief and prepare for beef, it’s Chainsawsuit time i’m sorry. i’m sorry i won’t say that again.

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39 Responses to Episode 61 – The Top 6 Numbers From Lost, Ranked

  1. Daphnetrodon says:

    Don't fret, Mikey and Kris, if there was something from a podcast I didn't like I would say something and I'm sure other commenters would too. I was one of the people who made a joking comment on the Scarenol episode (which I did like but also felt went a bit long on just the one joke) and I can totally see how that would mess you up.
    For my part, all that's really going on when I post comments like that is an "I want to play too" impulse, where you guys were having fun and I wanted to participate in a way and add to the conversation. If one of you guys said something that was just totally awful, I would feel safe coming to the comment section and saying "Look, I love you both, but I had an issue with how this was phrased", I think. In my opinion, neither of you have made the comment section feel like an unsafe place for constructive criticism on the show or your work.

    As for the Lovecraft topic, I was relieved to hear both of you mention that fact that it's okay for people to just say "No, I don't want to read stuff this racist wrote/stuff with so much racism in it". I have a lot of personal experience with saying I'm not interested in reading or watching something connected to racism and people saying "but it's a CLASSIC!" I'm like, dude, I'm black and my mom and brother are black and this is stuff we deal with in real life. I don't want to have to have it in my fiction, too. So that acknowledgement was nice. I don't think there's anything to be gained from walking up to a stranger with a book and saying "You know Lewis Carroll was a pedophile, right?" and expecting them to throw the book to the ground and denounce the printed word, but I also think if a story or its writer does make somebody really uncomfortable or upset for whatever reason, they're allowed to pass on it.

    This might have been my favorite quiz yet, just because it's so fun hearing Mikey's silly ideas mixed in with nonsense people tried to make happen for real. So to sum up, I liked this episode a lot and I hope you guys keep doing what you're doing! If I send in another topic I'll try to make it good.

  2. sambooga says:

    The bar is Drink, the city is Boston, MA, and Mikey's refined palate is unavailable for comment.

  3. Alex says:

    Now that I re-read Lovecraft I really don't enjoy it, because I see the racism there now and it's unsurpassable for me. A story which does not contain the negative aspects of a writer can still be enjoyed I think, but when it's blatantly part of the fabric of their writing it's impossible for me to turn a blind eye. :(

  4. Giggleloop says:

    Podcast feedback in reverse order:

    The vast majority of the time, I give straightforward feedback on the shows, just because I am nowhere near as clever as most of my fellow listeners. I can't hang with these folks. :)

    Also – I'm really curious to know what the gentlemen listeners think of the opening segment's shenanigans. I'm not entirely positive that somehow you two aren't posting separate episodes just for us ladies, because WHAT. Honestly, I try SO HARD to play it cool around you two, and you're not making it easy on me. My poor ears just can't handle it… It's just too much. 😉

    Also, also, Mikey – http://www.ebay.com/itm/WORLDS-OF-POWER-Blaster-M

  5. Kyle_Douglas says:

    The following was recovered from a bloody laptop after Kyle Douglas was eaten by wolves in a sleeping bag… Or not. Dropping shtick at request this week (whatever, gives me more time to shop for hammers anyway). Daphnetrodon has already articulated the response to that bit better than I would, but I'll toss in the quote from Kris as an affirmation: "We have to infer from the fact that they're enjoying it so much and they want to build on it that that means they like it. They wouldn't be doing it if they didn't like it."

    Interestingly, this is the first episode in awhile that I would have had some wide-scope criticism on regardless if it was specifically requested or not. For me, this episode hit a pretty major slump in the middle. The LOST numbers bit crossed the line from being an amusing absurdist conversation about nothing to just being… boring. This was followed by one of Mikey's pitchshifting-focused gags that usually don't hit home for me.

    Now, I think that bit of criticism would have been more funny and interesting for anyone reading this comment if it'd be delivered from the perspective of a coroner trying to figure out why some guy spent his dying moments complaining about two guys talking about 42 being a dumb number, but nooooooo, Mikey Newhorse and Chris Strowl want some traditional comments :p

    Alright, let's move on to positivity!
    This episode now forms a fanservice trilogy of Kris & Mikey (Krikey) shipping along with the episode with Angstrom-Kris hitting on Zane-Mikey and the episode with the "Spend Valentine's Day with Kris and Mikey" commercial – I can't say I'm part of that subset of the fandom, but I still found it pretty funny. I am part of the subset that got a major kick out of Kris' Goro laugh making a cameo.

    Favorite bits: Mikey trying to justify his pr0n habits by saying he could totally autotune it, the bit about the Maya/Zbrushed inaccurate model with 3D question marks around it, "Nobody cares, Mikey". I'm also considering making " 'cause I'm not on a train" from the bit before that to be my go-to answer for "Why are you doing X instead of Y?"

    Kris has revealed talking about Firefly in a blasé manner or using reverse psychology as being the only way to get him to watch it. Begin Operation: It's Okay, I Guess immediately!

    Back in Episode 57 I said: "That's 4 quizzes in a row that I've edged out our hosts by one point. Hopefully that's the last time since I'm getting tired of the phrase “edged out” "
    Well, that's done with since I trounced Kris this week with 9 out of 10. The only one I missed was #2 ("18 Photos of Albert Einstein Being Super Chill"). Consider me Buzzfed.

    I'll conclude this week's kayfabe-free comment essay by partially fulfilling a request of Mikey's:
    Nintendo's "Worlds of Power" Megaman story read by the Angry Video Game Nerd

    • Giggleloop says:

      I also enjoyed the Goro laugh. Makes me want to go watch Mappy again.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      YOU GOT 9 OUT OF 10???

      Man, bravo, sir. That's impressive because i though that quiz was next to impossible!

      • Kyle_Douglas says:

        I couldn't make heads or tails of this comment. Fortunately I was able to turn it over to my good friends at BuzzFeed for a translation.

        • ThomasG says:

          I remember thinking that Firefly seemed like it had a dumb premise (space cowboys?), and really not liking the trailers to Serenity (it oversold action when really that's not the strength of the work). College housemates put it on, and still I was definitely not sold by the first episode. And there's something weird about Joss' style where I find roughly 10% of his shots to be cinematically unsettling, in that the staging, the lighting, and everything sum up to something that feels cheap (the first shot in EP 1 of Dollhouse, or the scene in Firefly's 1st episode where the crew and passengers are making introductions are examples of this).


          there are some moments that stand out, that really stand out. There's dialogue and action that are just so freaking perfect at times that it makes all of the buildup worth it. And, of course, you grow attachment to these characters. So there's that.

          So it's alright, I guess. Not perfect, but it's got some stuff that might be worth checking out if someone were to be thinking of checking something out that's a complete work that isn't ungodly long.

  6. Ricky says:

    Six out of ten on the quiz.

    I wish the Italian restaurant ad was a bit slower so I could catch all the awful recipes. Was that DubStank or DubSteak you kept saying?

    By the way, I LOVED the Scarinol episode. It was amazing.

  7. Encifer says:

    I can't drink any beer ever. I just can't. I can't drink wine either. Or champagne. It's just alcohol to my poor, sensitive tongue area.

    I like how quickly Kris took his shirt off beneath the stars. He was READY.

    My tombstone reads: "I don't want a tombstone, please respect my wishes. That means YOU, Janet. God, this is always how it is with you."

    I know I'd be incredibly sad to find out that, for example, Joss Whedon is real mean to everybody. A real mean-face man. I don't think I'd enjoy the Avengers any less, I'd just be sad about it afterwards I suppose.

    In regards to comments, it's the same thing that happens with the chainsawsuit comics. Everyone wants to continue the joke. Either with variations or by writing the scene that follows. And there's definitely a ton of one-upsmanship at play. I've been trying to comment more lately and if I don't it's usually because I can't think of anything clever to say.

  8. Craig says:

    True story: the podcast went up a few minutes before I got on a plane for a 3 hour flight. I downloaded it to my phone just as we were boarding and listened to it in flight. During Mikey's restaurant commercial, I got an uncontrollable attack of the giggles, prompting confused and worried stares from the other passengers in my row. Thank you for making me look like an unhinged maniac, Mikey you hilarious bastard.

    P.S. I love you, too, Kris.

  9. I listened to the first half of this podcast and I think I just solved the unsolved mystery of being horny!

    • Giggleloop says:

      There was a horny mystery? What was the mystery? (Other than, “hey why so horny, fellas?”)

      I feel like I would be well suited to solving this type of case. Hit me up, I’m on the case. Sultry Detectress, P.I.

  10. Ownin' my quiz answers: I gave the exact same score as Kris. Almost the same answers too, except I transposed the hot beards and the egypt gifs.

  11. Giggleloop says:

    As soon as you guys began the LOST numbers discussion, I knew 23 would be tops. It’s clearly superior to those other numbers. Why is that? It’s just a good number.

  12. Giggleloop says:

    As for novelizations of things, I had, of all things, a Growing Pains book that was basically a novelization of like 3 episodes, with a bit of filler to string them together into a continuous story. Probably the first book I owned with the word Boner in it. (But not the last, amirite fellas haha UP TOP! *high-fives*)

  13. MrBildango says:

    I can’t remember a novelization that I read, but Idso remember reading the graphic novel version of Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. It…. It lived up, unfortunately.

  14. Willie Gross says:

    U had a shitty Monday, and this made it a lot better. Thanks guys, you’re the best.

  15. frostyplum says:

    Quiz: 7 out of 10. Those last two sounded distressingly real. Love the vocoded "4 out of 5" correction. Now what in the fresh hell are Lost numbers?

    11:36 – Another golden Kris laugh. More of a yip, actually.

    Yes, I was quite satisfied with my epitaph treatment. There was no talk of hauntings, but I'll let it slide knowing that Kris's threat level has been downgraded. I'll leave it to Kyle Douglas to post an appropriate picture of Mikey saying "Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not." I'm getting out of the Mikey-pic-posting business.

    Yay Ben Paddon! <3 About time he came on board. Mikey, I'm not familiar with the Nintendo novels of which you speak, but they reminded me of the history of Atari cartridge illustrations: http://www.theverge.com/2013/9/19/4716444/how-ata… I love the idea of wresting an entire backstory out of the flimsiest of premises and graphics, especially when they came out as fantastical as Atari's.

    I will totally cop to trying to be as clever as all get out in these comments, as well as chainsawsuit. I readily admit I can't compete with KD or Qmzn or many others, but I try, because you guys bring that kind of humor out in me. We ape because we love. And we barely own any hammers. Actually, that Misery quote makes me wonder how loathe Mikey is to a treatment of his universes. Have people written things in the Ending universe, or Returners fanfic? What if there weren't any makeouts, even?

    • Kyle_Douglas says:

      "I'll leave it to Kyle Douglas to post an appropriate picture of Mikey saying "Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm not."
      Since not everyone can be expected to maintain a Kathy Bates Misery-esque eidetic recall of the show like Shannon and myself, the full context for that quote was: "So one of the things in [the comic adaptation of Aliens] that's really interesting is – and correct me if I'm wrong… and I'm not *laughs* – is in the movies the little mouth […] never actually bites someone's brain out. But that was always this idea in my head because I read the comics well before I saw the movie."

      The thing is that Mikey's actually worked on the Alien franchise via Colonial Marines (correct me if I'm wrong… and I'm not). So yeah, he can definitely crack a smug smile there and I just can't envision anyone trying to correct him on it.

  16. sheanam says:

    Haha, that whole tangent on Hugs. Hugs are still around, they've never been discontinued as far as I know! They're everywhere! Unless somebody is purposely keeping them far away from anywhere Mikey goes, which when considering the sort of luck the podcast has had with various brands in the past, might actually be a possibility.

    To nod along with a lot of other folks, if I'm not saying much about a show itself or the overall show's quality, it's because I've been enjoying it and have little to complain about! At the moment, all I can really criticize is that I'm not fond of Buzz Calhoun bits. They tend to be too long and too dark for my particular tastes. That's part of the one big criticism I have for chainsawsuit in general, though, I think: certain things like Buzz and Saw It For You and the Kim Cattrall/Tom Hiddleston plots, they always felt a little too long and a little too forced, like you guys were trying too hard.

    If you guys are just having a conversation or answering questions or quizzes and the like, I could listen for ages! But most all the other bits, I think they work best when they're done short and snappy, without much overproducing or drawing out. Otherwise the humor kind of loses its punch and it starts to feel like it's there to just be there. This is a fairly minor thing overall though, and I fully accept that it might just be my own persnickety tastes. :)

    Man, I never quite know where I stand with Sins Versus Art. A work of art is definitely something removed from the artist that can be enjoyed on it own merit, but no matter how good Woody Allen might be I still feel terrible supporting his works and seeing them, and the knowledge that Bill Cosby is an alleged repeat rapist has completely squashed all love I had for his standup. Sometimes, you just can't do it. A note, though: a lot of people don't believe Lewis Carroll was a pedophile; I don't particularly believe it and I have a few educated friends who get very angry about that accusation. Dude was hella asexual, similar to JM Barrie. Kids were fun to play with and talk imagination with. Adults were scary and sexual and confusing, and kids were the non-scary, non-sexual company they wanted.

  17. Renata_V says:

    Great episode! The quiz was absolutely hilarious, I really like how you made it into its own segment. :)

    On the number 42, Douglas Adams was looking for a number that had as little significance as possible (i.e, was not a lucky number, or the date of a special day). I think that 42 is meant to mean nothing, it's meant to show that even if we did get the answer as to why we were here, nothing would change. (I am so happy you brought up Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I finally get the chance to talk about it).

    Also, I know how much it sucks to have your name misspelt, 'tis the bane of my existence, it will probably be spelt wrong on my tombstone too. :)

    On an unrelated note, I swear I saw Mikey on an episode of 'Good Game' (an Australian TV show about video games). It was an E3 special, and I think I saw him in a background shot for a brief second. (I could be completely wrong, but he was wearing a paddy cap and glasses).

  18. LMcCJ says:

    Loved Buzz Calhoun "That is not on brand!" Great line.

    C'mon, Kris, a porn encyclopedia that isn't 69 volumes? Who's gonna buy that?

    Dubstank commercial was some Scorcese-level speed talking. Curious as to how much spit landed in your general vicinity while you recorded it.

    Let's call the porn segment what it is–a big, fat, "NO." Improv-ing Kris-Mikey ship porn fanfic will not to be indulged. The sound effects were a nice touch though.

    6/10 on the quiz. Excellent topic.

    I understand Mikey's point about feedback. This week my favorite segment was Buzz but I know we can only have him in small doses. (Oh, and I didn't listen to the Lost numbers thing because I never watched Lost and figured I wouldn't get the jokes anyway so I was in the laundry room making noise then.)

  19. AGuyWhoIsHereNow says:

    Woo! Got 8/10 on the quiz (got number 1 and 6 wrong). And I've never even looked at BuzzFeed. I don't mention that so much as to brag about winning but instead to brag about not going to BuzzFeed.

  20. @mkarpilenko says:

    Oh yeah, you bet Scareanol podcast was a blast!
    I don't know how you did this guys, but I started to listen to the show because I was kinda enjoying Chainsawsuit comics and now it's my favorite podcast. And I listen/-ed to A LOT of them!

  21. Mike says:

    Great episode as always. I think you guys are definitely right to infer from people building on your ideas that they love them and your execution. Scarinol was an incredible episode, for example, and I love the extended plot arcs, side characters, and recurring jokes you guys do; the combination of real conversation and improv storytelling is why I love this podcast. But it also fires me up to play along rather than just applaud, which I think is even higher praise.

    As for an honest response to this episode: I think Woody Allen is a great example of the trickiness of separating creator from work with these ethical issues. Let’s take for granted that the dude is if not a child molester certainly kinda creepy for marrying his adopted daughter. I can still enjoy a movie by him like Midnight in Paris, which is about nostalgia for a golden age, etc. But I can’t stand Blue Jasmine, which has the basic message that all the female protagonist’s problems are her own fault for not accepting her husband’s affair with more gentility. To me, that’s just not a conversation I want to have with Woody Allen. Any fictional reality constructed from the point of view of a guy who thinks it’s cool to marry his daughter and brag how his marriage works super well because she’s so submissive – that’s not a world I don’t really look to for relationship advice.

  22. The Red Light says:

    Oh look I actually got mentioned. Real cute Mikey.

  23. Scott Petrovits says:

    First of all, I look forward to the podcast every week. Your perspectives on brands and pop culture closely mirror my own, and I love when when you pull apart something particularly heinous (like Guy Fieri). That said, I have to respond to Mikey's comments on beer. Being a craft brewer myself, there were some misconceptions I felt I had to address.

    First, let me say that I never, ever judge someone based on which beer they enjoy drinking. The most I will do is suggest something similar, in the hopes that they'll expand their palate (if they want to). In that vein, I will say that I sense in Mikey a desire to support more independent breweries, and that there are alternatives to Corona, which provide the same crisp, refreshing experience, without being owned by a global conglomerate like Grupo Modelo is (AB InBev, same as Budweiser, btw). Try a Shiner Blonde or Saint Arnold Summer Pils for examples of light lagers you might enjoy. And they're both made right in Texas! Dogfish Head is far from the only name-recognizable indepedent brewery producing quality products; a list can be found at http://goo.gl/UIAaUs. I understand that we beer geeks can be insufferable at times, but for the most part, it really does stem from honest enthusiasm. Sometimes it gets away from us.

    Also, not every brewery is beholden to a distributor. Here in Colorado, I can peddle my product door to door if I want. I'd only get a distributor involved if I wanted to sell my beer out of state. True, in most of the country, the relationship between brewers and distributors is still indifferent at best and adversarial at worst, but laws are changing all the time. Anyway, enjoy the beer you enjoy, and keep podcasting! Cheers!

  24. Giggleloop says:

    Per Kris’s suggestion, I tried listening to part of the podcast at half speed…

    Yes, you guessed it – the dubstank commercial. I had to, in order to appreciate all those insane word combinations! Also, whatever you did to speed up your voice for that commercial, Mikey, hearing it then slowed to half speed makes it frightening, especially the “duuuuuuuubstaaaaaank” bits. *shudder*

    The things I do in order to fully appreciate your comedy, guys.. *smh*

  25. ThomasG says:


    Mikey, did you actually read the Scarenol comments? There's the trend for the superfans to start the comments with awesome podcast addenda, but squares like me piped up later on with "new favorite episode," "I'm thrilled," and "Amazing. Best podcast in a while." So I think it was pretty clear most folks liked it a lot.

    I like most, most beer, and I like variety. I don't like old beer and I don't like when it's brewed with cardamom. Otherwise, beers from Coors Light to fancy-dancy lambics have their place with me. But people can get elitist about anything. Including being super non-elitist. Hey, look at me, I'm so beer-egalitarian 😛 Have you tried Dogfish Head's Chicory Stout? It's dogfishheadcellent™ (complementary Brando® brand Brandening courtesy of Brand Brad)

    I remember absolutely loving the Ninja Gaiden novelization. I didn't know there were others out there. So thank you Mikey! Old video games could form the basis of pretty good stories because they were so sparse with the premise (i.e. Mappy). I never understood movie novelizations.

    I can deal with the fanservice/shipping/whatever. It's much easier to deal with than lip-smacking eating sounds (those are the worst)

    I go to Lovecraft for creepy ideas. I don't like the racism, but I think it's interesting and informative to see how it was tied to his sense for horror. The huge time difference is relevant here: It's markedly different to consider his viewpoint in its historical context than to consider racist crap made today.
    I get bothered by people taking action on allegations that are reported. The press routinely mucks things up severely, one way or another. That said, I still feel the desire to bandwagon, and I don't think it's totally misplaced, but I think people can be quick to jump the gun. Really quick.
    Finally, people in general aren't perfect, so I don't expect everything they produce to be completely inoffensive and stuff. I don't like to see people getting wrecked in the public arena over pretty isolated/distortable stuff.

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