as usual, chainsawsuit brings you the breaking video game news that you need. blizzcon 2013 is happening right now in southern california, and we have all the hot scoops:

  • world of warcraft will be ported to game boy advance
  • new playable race: chinese
  • all classes can now wield all weapons or use all spells. nothing matters anymore. no more decisions
  • new “scrying portal cauldron” lets you telnet into your office computer and work at your day job from inside the game
  • all brown colors 30% browner
  • nerfed reload time on british pattern 1914 enfield sniper rifle
  • all new player accounts receive gift coupon for 15% off any SeaFeast(tm) menu item at local participating the crab pot restaurants
  • all lore, character models and animations removed. world simplified to base gameplay abstractions. to play, click and hold on any red square until it turns green
  • fixed “wolrd of warcraft” typo that has been in the main logo since 2004