hey london olympics summer 2012! here are your new mascots

how wonderful! all that symbolism jammed in there, all that reverence for the olympics and the city and the spirit of competition, and they forgot to spend any time on making the mascots appealing

did you know their design was inspired by drops of molten metal from a steelworks in bolton? and they’re named after two cities in the united kingdom that no one outside of an olympic historian cares about?

did you know that every fearsome contour of the characters’ bodies corresponds to some number related to the olympics? hooray! if your child is upset by their appearance, just tell them all about the numbers and the names of cities and steel refineries