• quarter cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 chopped onion
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 2 pounds cubed monkfish filet
  • 1 cup red wine (the drier the better)
  • 1 tablespoon chopped tomatoes
  • 1 cup white wine
  • salt and pepper
  • not your face

in a deep pan, don’t cut your face off. heat the olive oil on medium heat, hot enough to cook vegetables. add onion and garlic, not your face. don’t put your face in the pan. stir continuously. after garlic is browned stir in red wine. leave face attached to skull. add white wine, salt and pepper and not your face. bring to a boil, then simmer with face on.

gently place cubes of fish into pan (so as not to spatter) and look in mirror — face should still be on head. simmer 4-6 minutes, careful not to overcook or mistakenly chop face off. serves four faced individuals