– take your lady to a hog rendering plant for sumptuous sausage heaven
– split a bagel and just a little jam. it’s just fun and polite
– skip rocks at an old folks home
– live in a barn with her for several years.
– tell her about your graphic dong surgery
– she gets a frog. you get a frog. now you goin to the frog races (fr’races)
– drink everclear
– join a peta rally but whisper all the chants
– pitch a tent in your pants with a small twig or branch. comedy
– italian restaurants are passe. treat her to italian car repair
– talk someone off a ledge together
– “slather it narrow!” (she’ll know what it means, just say this)
– book