Saw It For You: Doctor Who – The Day of the Doctor (2013)

Doctor Who – The Day of the Doctor (2013)

The screenplay predictive algorithms at Saw It For You got a little breather this weekend — despite their best efforts, they could not have foreseen the crazy plot twists and turns in the BBC’s 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who. I got a chance to watch it in the backseat of a Mercury minivan, and it is truly mind-blowing. Don’t get left behind around the water cooler — we’ve got the inside goods on The Day of the Doctor.

Synopsis. The 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who at long last deals with the central mystery of the series: who was Blatchley-Down Crimmits?

Trivia

  • According to series writer Steven Moffat, “the 50th anniversary of the show was a wonderful opportunity to revisit why the Doctor can never be a woman.”
  • For the first time, overt product placement has crept into Doctor Who, such as the T-Mobile logo on the TARDIS door and the 11th Doctor’s Sonicare Screwdriver.
  • A new catchphrase from the episode has already caught on like wildfire in the fan community: “Goobly-gorbly physics-wizzics”
  • Peter Capaldi as the 12th Doctor was only visible for a brief moment, but still long enough to speak his signature line: “Some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill.”
  • In addition to Capaldi’s official reveal, close examination of the figure behind him shows his likely companion: Selena Gomez.
  • This marks the first time the Doctor had a trademark tool other than the sonic screwdriver: the sonic Colt AR-15 semi-automatic service rifle with night scope.
  • Due to Alex Kingston’s unavailability, the part of River Song in the episode was recast and played by Cardboard Standup of Alex Kingston.
  • The TARDIS Time Clown was voiced by Breckin Meyer.

Mistakes

  • Plot hole. Doctor Who (BBC, 1963-2013).
  • Continuity error. A highly anticipated scene where the 10th and 11th Doctors make out does not appear in the episode, despite being promised in an interview Steven Moffat did in my fanfic.
  • In the scene where River Song and the War Doctor are escaping the Dalek King, a real TARDIS is visible behind the prop TARDIS.
  • When the 11th Doctor points his sonic screwdriver at the Cyberhorse, he shouts “expecto patronum.” The line is supposed to be “science fiction version of expecto patronum.
  • When Rory’s parallel clone asks how they used the TARDIS to escape when it had been “completely disabled” the entire episode, the Doctor forgets to disarmingly smile in a charming, goofy way that can be made into an animated GIF.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. In many of the scenes where the Doctor uses his new transforming multi-sonic screwdriver, he holds out an empty hand as if the visual effects for the CGI screwdriver are missing. However, the screwdriver can activate an “invisibility mode” whenever it feels like it.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. In space combat, the TARDIS shakes violently, but sometimes its passengers do not react to the shaking, making it seem like the actors missed their cue to shake along with the camera. This is because the TARDIS can activate an “inertial stability booster” whenever it feels like it.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. There is no reference in all fifty years of Doctor Who to “telepathic time coins,” but when the Doctor says “Of course! The telepathic time coins I always carry!” he is not wrong; it’s just an example of ever-changing, impossible-to-predict ebb and flow of the time stream.
  • Telepathic time coins would likely not be accepted by London toll booths.
  • Come to think of it, given all the Doctor’s resources, having the TARDIS be stopped at a regular toll booth for three hours due to a lack of exact change seems unlikely.
  • When the War Doctor’s faceplate falls off to reveal that he’s actually a Cyberman piloted by a Dalek mutant, you can see the other faceplate accidentally shift long before the second reveal that he’s actually just the War Doctor.
  • Plot hole. In the first thirty seconds of the cold open, the universe is at risk because “all possible universes are imploding at infinity billion times the speed of light” and the 11th Doctor has only “one-over-infinity seconds to re-explode all impossible negative universes” to prevent the infinite oh my God who cares I can’t believe this is even a thing, how can you have drama when the stakes are ratcheted this high every five minutes

Memorable Quotes

The War Doctor. Never or always forget, and remember: everything and nothing is always and/or never possible, or not.
The 11th Doctor. I couldn’t have put it better or worse myself.
The 10th Doctor. Or selves.
TARDIS. Or nonselves.
The 11th Doctor. (wistfully, near tears) Or both. Or neither. Or neither and both simultaneously, as well as simultaneously not simultaneously.

TARDIS. Doctor, I’m so happy to be both a metaphor for your wife, and an inanimate utility device you travel inside.

The 11th Doctor. We’ve been caught in a stable time nexoid — an intersection of all realities — and we had no idea.
River Song. How long have we been here?
The 11th Doctor. Our whole lives. Also, never.
(violins swell and soar as River Song shrugs in epic slow motion)

(100 Years Later…)
The War Doctor. 
And the Doctor escaped to fight another day.
Dog. B-but what happened to his companions? And the TARDIS worm? And the dark energy being??
The War Doctor. Ahh, all very good stories in and of themselves! But also stories… for another day.
Dog. Awww. (whines)

Saw It For You: Gravity (2013)

Gravity (2013)

We here at Saw It For You are psyched to reveal the secrets behind Gravity, the highly anticipated space thriller from Alfonso Cuaron. It won’t be in theaters until October 2013, but we found a near-complete work print of the movie while breaking into a condemned Winchell’s Donuts in Burbank, California. This modern-day sci-fi tale’s striking visuals and heart-pounding action sequences will leave you breathless… and gravityless.

Continue reading “Saw It For You: Gravity (2013)”

Saw It For You: A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Synopsis. Bruce Willis once again steps into the role of Detective John McClane, who is on an international NYPD mission to save his son, Jack McClane.

Tagline. In Russia, A Good Day to Die Hard sees you three times on opening weekend!

Trivia

  • Because of a stuntcasting initiative, John McClane’s father Jay McClane is played by all members of One Direction simultaneously. Zayn Malik was unavailable to shoot that day, which is why the Zayn Malik part of Jay McClane appears on a laptop running Skype.
  • Every sixth page of the script went missing from the shooting schedule due to a pagination error. No one noticed.
  • Reginald VelJohnson returns in a featured cameo as “Sgt. Al Powell,” his character from the first Die Hard. However, to avoid paying him more than an extra’s wage, all his dialogue was replaced with chewing noises.
  • Much of the film was shot using an inferior “night-for-day” technique. This is why in many of the daytime scenes, Bruce Willis is carrying a flashlight.
  • Director John Moore signed onto the project originally believing the Die Hard franchise was moving in a high-fantasy direction. During filming, he was informed that Russia is a real country.
  • The title for German theaters was mistranslated as “It’s A Good Day For The Erect,” making the movie thirty times more profitable there than in America.
  • Bruce Willis utters his trademark catchphrase “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” no less than five times in A Good Day to Die Hard. All of them occur during the Arby’s bathroom sex scene.
  • The screenplay was written in Microsoft Excel.

Mistakes

  • The New York Police Department does not have an “International Bureau of Missions.” Additionally, the Bureau’s logo is identical to the IBM logo.
  • Language lapse. Russian is its own language with its own alphabet, and not just all-caps English with backwards Rs.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. McClane’s handgun never runs out of bullets, and McClane apparently never reloads, meaning that the single magazine contains infinite bullets, which is impossible. However it is possible McClane has access to infinite identical handguns.
  • The Cyrillic “Я” is pronounced ya, and not “like the pirate R.”
  • Equipment mix-up. The cockpit of a Russian Ka-52 helicopter does not feature an “Explode Soon” switch.
  • It is also not possible to “run” along the top of spinning helicopter blades by doing football-style high-knee tire sprints.
  • Director’s trademark: Trajectory of fireball altered by sight of cleavage.
  • Russians, as a race, do not possess “eye sonar” as a common trait.
  • Russia and Canada are not part of the same landmass.
  • Director’s trademark: Character indicates displeasure by wolf-whistling at sink full of dirty dishes.
  • The Royal Canadian Mounted Police do not have any form of jurisdiction in the Kremlin.
  • It is unlikely a Kalashnikov could be field-modified to shoot a stream of water onto a burning preschool teacher.
  • Director’s trademark: Main character turns to the camera, shrugs, and says “That’s the end, I guess.”

Memorable Quotes

Hans Gruber IV. (thumbing trigger) You will pay for killing my great-grandfather, John McClane.
John McClane.
That fuckin’ explosion’s gonna alert every Canadian mountie within a 500-mile radial [sic].

Hans Gruber IV. Your son only learned part of the truth. The satellite is in orbit above America, yes… but it’s not there to steal bank codes. It’s there to send a beam which will deflate every football in the United States… forever.

Jack McClane. Nice of you to be late to the fuckin’ party.
John McClane. Didn’t your mother tell you not to curse in front of your father, fuckface?
Jack McClane. You always called mom a bitch.
John McClane. (classic McClane smirk)

John McClane. Touch one hair on my son and I’ll cram a star-spangled grenade so far up your Russian diarrhea-hole you’ll shit USA for a week.