Saw It For You: Gravity (2013)

Gravity (2013)

We here at Saw It For You are psyched to reveal the secrets behind Gravity, the highly anticipated space thriller from Alfonso Cuaron. It won’t be in theaters until October 2013, but we found a near-complete work print of the movie while breaking into a condemned Winchell’s Donuts in Burbank, California. This modern-day sci-fi tale’s striking visuals and heart-pounding action sequences will leave you breathless… and gravityless.

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Saw It For You: A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Synopsis. Bruce Willis once again steps into the role of Detective John McClane, who is on an international NYPD mission to save his son, Jack McClane.

Tagline. In Russia, A Good Day to Die Hard sees you three times on opening weekend!

Trivia

  • Because of a stuntcasting initiative, John McClane’s father Jay McClane is played by all members of One Direction simultaneously. Zayn Malik was unavailable to shoot that day, which is why the Zayn Malik part of Jay McClane appears on a laptop running Skype.
  • Every sixth page of the script went missing from the shooting schedule due to a pagination error. No one noticed.
  • Reginald VelJohnson returns in a featured cameo as “Sgt. Al Powell,” his character from the first Die Hard. However, to avoid paying him more than an extra’s wage, all his dialogue was replaced with chewing noises.
  • Much of the film was shot using an inferior “night-for-day” technique. This is why in many of the daytime scenes, Bruce Willis is carrying a flashlight.
  • Director John Moore signed onto the project originally believing the Die Hard franchise was moving in a high-fantasy direction. During filming, he was informed that Russia is a real country.
  • The title for German theaters was mistranslated as “It’s A Good Day For The Erect,” making the movie thirty times more profitable there than in America.
  • Bruce Willis utters his trademark catchphrase “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” no less than five times in A Good Day to Die Hard. All of them occur during the Arby’s bathroom sex scene.
  • The screenplay was written in Microsoft Excel.

Mistakes

  • The New York Police Department does not have an “International Bureau of Missions.” Additionally, the Bureau’s logo is identical to the IBM logo.
  • Language lapse. Russian is its own language with its own alphabet, and not just all-caps English with backwards Rs.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. McClane’s handgun never runs out of bullets, and McClane apparently never reloads, meaning that the single magazine contains infinite bullets, which is impossible. However it is possible McClane has access to infinite identical handguns.
  • The Cyrillic “Я” is pronounced ya, and not “like the pirate R.”
  • Equipment mix-up. The cockpit of a Russian Ka-52 helicopter does not feature an “Explode Soon” switch.
  • It is also not possible to “run” along the top of spinning helicopter blades by doing football-style high-knee tire sprints.
  • Director’s trademark: Trajectory of fireball altered by sight of cleavage.
  • Russians, as a race, do not possess “eye sonar” as a common trait.
  • Russia and Canada are not part of the same landmass.
  • Director’s trademark: Character indicates displeasure by wolf-whistling at sink full of dirty dishes.
  • The Royal Canadian Mounted Police do not have any form of jurisdiction in the Kremlin.
  • It is unlikely a Kalashnikov could be field-modified to shoot a stream of water onto a burning preschool teacher.
  • Director’s trademark: Main character turns to the camera, shrugs, and says “That’s the end, I guess.”

Memorable Quotes

Hans Gruber IV. (thumbing trigger) You will pay for killing my great-grandfather, John McClane.
John McClane.
That fuckin’ explosion’s gonna alert every Canadian mountie within a 500-mile radial [sic].

Hans Gruber IV. Your son only learned part of the truth. The satellite is in orbit above America, yes… but it’s not there to steal bank codes. It’s there to send a beam which will deflate every football in the United States… forever.

Jack McClane. Nice of you to be late to the fuckin’ party.
John McClane. Didn’t your mother tell you not to curse in front of your father, fuckface?
Jack McClane. You always called mom a bitch.
John McClane. (classic McClane smirk)

John McClane. Touch one hair on my son and I’ll cram a star-spangled grenade so far up your Russian diarrhea-hole you’ll shit USA for a week.

Saw It For You: Sinister (2012)

WARNING: Some of these spoilers I collected for the horror movie Sinister may spoil you… and spook you.

Sinister (2012)

Synopsis. A family moves into a house only to find it is already occupied by deviloids.

Trivia

  • Director Scott Derrickson was inspired to write Sinister after he killed his own family and blamed a ghost.
  • Ethan Hawke, who plays the film’s main character Ellison, has stated in interviews he became intrigued by the script after being made to read it “at ghostpoint.” Writer/director Derrickson remained in Hawke’s home until he had completed reading the script, menacing him with a drawing of a small ghost.
  • The original title of Sinister was I’m Innocent.
  • The title of Sinister in 2013 will be Exhibit A.

Body Count

  • Stephanie: First to uncover the identity of Bughuul, the Prime Deviloid. Stephanie learns that he can kill people via any image or visual representation of himself. Before she can tell anyone, Bughuul emerges from her visual cortex via her left nostril. Bughuul then throws a shuriken at her.
  • Spicy Mango Vendor: Dies after remarking, “say, these spicy mangos look a little like devils or something.” Bughuul transforms him into a spicy mango, which falls to the ground and is dramatically eaten by a medium-sized French bulldog.
  • Deputy: Killed after seeing a cloud that looks a little bit like Bughuul, but not really.
  • Teenage Girl: Killed after a deviloid throws a 1996 Toyota Tercel through her bedroom window. Her parents don’t come to help, as it is established the next morning that they are “heavy sleepers.”
  • Tracy: Dies after eating a dictionary page with the definition of “poison” on it.
  • Trevor: Dies of massive throat laceration after confusing a “hot-dog-eating contest” for a “hot-knife-eating contest.” Irony: he had eaten enough knives to win first place.
  • Bughuul: The Prime Deviloid meets his end when a young boy (voiced by Justin Long) draws a picture of Bughuul being cut in half by Captain America.

Mistakes

  • A gouged-out eyeball would not be able to blink, nor cry enough tears to create a puddle deep enough to drown a sleeping bank security guard.
  • Derrickson has proudly stated in interviews that he has never received any form of medical care, which seems to explain why most of the medical procedures in Sinister are variations on old wives’ tales and home remedies. Operating rooms typically do not provide doctors with access to leeches, crushed beetle snuff or “biting snakes.”
  • No doctor — at least none who has taken the Hippocratic Oath — would write a prescription for HIV.
  • At Kragen Auto Parts, Ellison (Ethan Hawke) laughs loudly at a Timbertoes comic strip in Highlights For Children. However, The Timbertoes has not been funny since 1961.
  • It is unlikely Kragen Auto Parts would carry incendiary crossbow bolts.
  • At the end of the movie, Ellison proudly tells the young boy that he defeated Bughuul using “the power of a child’s imagination.” However in a post-credits scene, Bughuul’s autopsy reveals he technically died of liver failure.
  • Despite the positive public health message offered by the movie, liver failure is not the number one killer of ghosts in America. It is not even among the top ten.

Memorable Quotes

Ellison: What’s that song you’re humming, sweetheart?
Unnamed Daughter: It’s something I learned from my new friend who lives in the attic, Mr. Boogie.
Ellison: You’re so creative. How does it go?
Unnamed Daughter:

I’m Mr. Boogie but my name is Bughuul
I may seem nice but I’m really a ghoul.
I live in the attic above where your children sleep
I come out of home movies and pictures to make your terror complete.
Maybe I’ll chase you with rusted knife.
You could beg and plead but it’s going to be the end of your very life.
I’ll chop off your neck and eat your head
And after that you will then realize that you are now dead.

Ellison: Something’s wrong. There’s no way you’re that creative.

Deputy: I don’t care who you think you are, Mr. Writer Man, there’s no such thing as “deviloids” in my town.
Ellison: Your careless attitude towards law enforcement is the real deviloid.

Ellison: (sneezes)