Episode 71 – The Whole Thing is Commercials

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Looks like Kris made a mistake this week and sold the entire episode out as ad space!

Which works out because it fulfills the dreams of many-a-listener who have wondered, “What would happen if they just did commercials for almost the entire episode?”

Consider the question answered.

Mikey will sleep forever now.

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36 Responses to Episode 71 – The Whole Thing is Commercials

  1. MikeyNeumann says:

    Hi, Im Mikey Neumann from the chainsawsuit podcast.

    This episode killed me. I underestimated it.

    Ask me anything.

    • Triple Gavin says:

      Can you give me the contact details of the necromancer that revived you? I have some things I need to kill and revive a whole bunch.

    • Giggleloop says:

      Now that you're a ghost, will it be more difficult for your Kinect camera to find you, or easier since it likes focusing on invisible things anyway? (This could really drive up your subscriber count. Not many ghosts stream games, or DO THEY? No, they don't.)

      The level of editing you put into this one is just nuts. I'm sorry you died. But it was really hilarious to listen to. So, silver lining?

    • Mikey, now that you are no longer bound to the corporeal obligations of your flesh-y self, will you be writing more novels? Or will you finally unleash that debut rap LP "Listen, guys, stop being so crappy to each other about dumb shit" into the wild?"

    • Bellow Fellow says:

      Hello Mike,

      Unfortunate to hear about your passing…

      1. Does this mean the entire episode was basically terminal respiratory exhalations?
      2. If we inflate your lifeless lungs, another beautiful posthumous podcast will come out solely from the air escaping, correct?
      As they say, you can't keep a good man 6-feet down – Sooner or later former business partner Kris Straub will exhume the corpse to have it participate in lively podcasts (get it? lively is an unexpected manner to describe something from a dead person. that one's free. i even quit my day job for that one. use it in good health).
      ,
      ,
      ,

      All my previous favorite comedians are dead.

      I think this particular reply is sufficiently dark now. Remember your happy place!

      Sincerely,
      A fan holding lung-inflating bellows right now — just firm up the rigor mortis in the left side to signal consent and we will grab the microphone

      Postscript: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

    • megan_made_this says:

      Now that you're a ghost, do you think you'll enjoy the food at Sorrento's more? Less?

      If you could haunt any food served at Sorrento's, what would it be?

  2. MikeyNeumann says:

    Bonus points to the first one (my guess: Kyle Douglas) who makes a modern legit movie poster for Never Don't Wait For Love.

    That'll be my background forever.

    "This May, Discover December"

  3. Kyle_Douglas says:

    I was so glad that Mikey didn't know what recalcitrance meant, since I didn't either :p
    Kris said it meant "punishment" but it appears to mean "defiance of authority", so we're all in the same boat… er, raft… Oculus Raft.

    The commercials have always been (for me, at least) the most hit-or-miss aspect of the show. Fortunately, when you throw out 15 darts at once you're going to get quite a lot of hits, a few bullseyes, and the misses are quickly forgotten in the flurry.

    And, well, what else is there to say (besides thanks for another fun episode)? Here's my favorite bits:
    Rhodie Dougs-Dougs's position on "liberal treatment of abandoned orphans at Whataburger" followed by his wife's "Oh, I disagree!"
    Turbo Boy-Crazy! Woo! My niece Clara LOVES that band!
    “It turned on my Xbox when I did that”
    "Was that a Hot Pocket?!?!" "Are you turned on right now? Here comes another!" "Now I am."
    "You bopped me, I don't like it!" dark turn.
    The entire Jeff Pregnant bit.
    Mikey's distorted baby voice sounding like a Zergling.
    #JadenWaits

    It's worth noting that most my favorite moments were in the second half of the episode. Not sure if that's because you'd warmed up and were firing on all cylinders or because you'd gotten tired out and were breaking form more. Two possible yet contradictory routes to fitting my personal comedy groove, heh.

    Doug Phenomenon Update: Democrat Rhoadie Dougs-Dougs marks a minimum of 8 Dougs with ties to the podcast. 9 if you include his wife. 10 if you count him twice since he has two Dougs in his name. In addition, Mikey referred to the ad-monitor Terrence as a "Shruggy Dougie". Doug-con 2 has been declared, the second highest level of Doug-tastrophy alertness. Remain vigilant.

  4. ThomasG says:

    That was my favorite episode. Holy smokes.

  5. Nope says:

    Holy shit. This is the first time I've listened to your guys' podcast. Oh my god, I'm crying. Where has this been all my life. Also I do not know who Mikey is but he is a funny man.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Well, you got 70 other episodes to run through now. We're a gift that keeps on giving.

      Some suggestions:

      – Both live shows. 50 and 70.
      – Chainsawsuit: The Movie (52)
      – The Scarinol Episode (49)
      – Stouffers (lil help, guys? In the teens I think…)
      – Kris and Mikey do A Christmas Carol (also in video!)

      And whatever suggestions other people have. Listening from the beginning would fill you in on all the little plotlines of the show.

      • ThomasG says:

        Stouffers is Ep. 21

      • Kyle_Douglas says:

        Some additional episodes from Year One that stand out in my mind:
        10: Four Thors
        15: Comic Books and Steven Moffat
        16: Honesty (warning: a seriously heavy episode)
        40: Nobody Shall Sleep

        From Year Two:
        56?: Kris on Kris on Kris
        57: See You In Health
        68: The Blow

        While it's a more serious time investment, The Kim Cattrall Saga is still probably my favorite thing to come out of the show (perhaps tied with Scarinol).
        20: Hunter Green Cadillac
        22: Pumpkin Spice
        27: Neutral
        32: The Fall
        35: Downhill
        36: Kris Chooses a Fate
        37: A Tale of Two Podcasts
        38: The Other Side (more of an epilogue than part of the saga, but I can't exclude that time I was on the show, obviously).

      • Nope says:

        Holy shit, I'm going to listen to all of these, plus the ones Kyle posted down below.

        I'm gonna have a magical weekend. Thanks, guys!

  6. Josh says:

    This was an excellent episode. GJ guys!

  7. sheanam says:

    I can't decide which was more upsetting, Mikey's various noises of terror and sobbing or Kris' PewdiePie impression.

    Dunno if I can decide which commercial was my favorite, either, but I think the one at the end where Mikey loses it because everybody's lost track of who's playing what is up there.

    Man, LPs! Speaking as somebody who gets a large chunk of their current viewing entertainment via LPers, I gots Opinions. PewdiePie and his ilk are complete garbage, and yeah, LPs that are just the entire game silently played in full are pretty Not Cool, but when they're done right, I *love* LPers. A good LPer showcases a game and acts as demo/reviewer/advertising, reacting to and talking about aspects of the game and encouraging you to buy it with a link to where you can do so. I've bought multiple games because of LPers like that, and pretty much everybody I know who's watched the same LPers have also bought games because of them. They've been especially good advertising for indie games in particular, and I've seen lots of interaction between the LPers and said game's developers. Heck, some game companies even make deals with the LPers for sales and keys and advertising (in appropriate ways, of course). And after a while, it's gotten to where some LPers move more towards personalized original content with games as a background feature or means to an original end, or are charismatic and engaging and talkative to the point that you watch more for their personality and conversation than the game itself. It's an evolving medium and very intriguing to watch certain people as they develop!

    • frostyplum says:

      This is what I would want out of LPs, the force of their charisma. Would you recommend anybody in particular?

      • sheanam says:

        Yes, actually! I'm a big fan of the Yogscast collective. They're a mostly British/European group with around two dozen different channels and while most of them have a big Minecraft focus they've got a boatload of different personalities, play styles and game preferences. They range from family-friendly to swear-heavy madness, and there's a ton of crossover between people and channels because most all of them play off against each other very well. The Minecraft stuff can be pretty interesting because of how deeply modded and expanded it is, and how they use it as a platform to play original characters and have unique focuses on what they do in the game and even have little overlapping creative plotlines and rivalries/alliances.

        They also get bonus points for starting out as a couple of standard issue uninformed wince-worthy un-PC white guys who over the years have made a point to clean their act up more and more and to separate themselves from the PewdiePies and encourage more variety in LPs/gaming. Of the two founding members, one encouraged a female editor to be an LPer in her own right (who's now one of their big popular LPers) and has stated outright that he wants to see more female LPers out there, and the other's been very outspoken about supporting gay rights, how gaming isn't a boys-only club, how important Sarkeesian's videos are et cetera, when so many others are silent or saying shitty things.

        (This post totally comes off as paid advertising, whoops. Comes from being a fan who's tired of jerks like Pewdie and Jontron ruining things for everybody else, I suppose!)

  8. A fun fact re: Weed Waffles: There is a place that makes weed pizza in Vancouver. It's called "Mega iLL[sic] Pizza".

  9. frostyplum says:

    Full disclosure: I keep a Google Doc of CSS commercials, so I know which ones are in each podcast. This one's gonna mess my shit right up.

    This 'cast deserves a serious relisten, but from what I got the first time, holy bajeezus. I think the only one I didn't like was Weed Waffles; the "spliff" mispronunciation kinda took me out of it. The whole thing had a good Zack Files feel, just goofing around and building off each other.

    Why hasn't anyone mentioned Terrence yet?? He won me over tout suite, besides poking Mikey. (Very close proximity – without actually doing anything – is so much more effective, anyway.)

    • krisstraub says:

      how do you mispronounce spliff? what's silent?

    • ThomasG says:

      hey frosty-p, does your google doc track the start times of the commercials? i'm impressed regardless.

      • frostyplum says:

        Roughly! I mark the minute in which it starts. Since I mostly just write them down physically, I’m missing a ton in the doc…I’d love to clean it up and share it. Mikey suggested on a Twitch stream last weekend implementing a subreddit or forum for CSS. That’d be great for spreading this kind of thing around, fan creation and annotation.

        • Giggleloop says:

          I missed the forum/subreddit conversation, but I approve wholeheartedly. I dig the folks in our fledgling community, & any place we can congregate & make merry would be awesome. Although fair warning, I’m clueless about all things Reddit.

        • Giggleloop says:

          You don’t happen to have notated anywhere in which episode the Buzz Calhoun sketches originated, do you? I’ve tried skimming around to find them and they are eluding me. :/

  10. Stouffer's Derek says:

    We have Hot Pockets: Sensations across the pond, but they’re called Exotic Sex Pancakes, Just For Couples (TM). Well. We used to. They took them off the market after people kept eating the condoms.

  11. LMcCJ says:

    It's been a weird week but, in brief, this was the laughingest episode. As soon as funding is available, I expect Ty Halley will be employed by css studios for the rest of his natural life.

    I was happy to see that in spite of the appearance of Terrance, there was a Doug–two, as a matter of fact! I'm absolutely certain now that when Kris announces the name of KrisJr it will, in fact, be Douglas Straub. I'll try to vine it when I crow, "I *knew* it!"

    I had no idea PewDiePie was an actual person. I just thought it was some game thing. Time for chainsawsuit to team up with the NEA.

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