Episode 29 – Fingers Crossed


Big show this week!

  • Mikey couldn’t make it into the studio, so we have a special guest: Tiny Turtle!
  • More Kris Chooses a Topic and your submissions (get them in for next week at krischoosesatopic@chainsawsuit.com)!
  • Kris confesses to harboring serious jealousy, and Kim arranges a special surprise to help him put it in perspective.
  • Mikey talks a little about his newest, darker short story, Neon Pulpit.

If you have ideas for guests, let us know in the comments!

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23 Responses to Episode 29 – Fingers Crossed

  1. A Fan says:

    Famous Chef, no doubt.

  2. LMcCJ says:

    I guess I'm in a particular mood because as I was listening to chainsaws of Love I was waiting for the sound of the revving chainsaw and the screams of M&K. A little dark for breakfast.

    Move over Stella Adler, Tiny Turtle's in town teaching his process.

    Kris and TT domelight scene–Love the detail TT went into, explaining when the light would come on depending on which car door was ajar, and commending K on how much attention he must have paid to the scene because as we all know, *nobody* pays more attention to doors being ajar than Kris.

    Mikey, never lie to the wife, whether you're talking about gunfire or the toilet paper roll. Not cool.

    Shout out to Kyle Douglas!

    We know Tiny Turtle is an amazing dramatic actor but can he bring the romance? Maybe he could sing/orate "I'm Your Man" (LCohen)?

  3. Qmzn says:

    Round 29 Complete!
    RANK: B++
    Hit/Miss Ratio: 86%
    Challenge The Next Stage!

    Perfect. Absolutely perfect. As you can see, I've replaced my usual wall of text with an inexplicable ranking system. When you finally attain rank "SSS", you'll have no idea how or why it happened. It's very, how do you say, Japanese?

    Still, I suppose a short analysis is in order.

    Tiny Turtle is a treasure, and an inspiration to us all. I hope to find my "raspberry jam and a butternut squash" someday. The new guest segment is a welcome addition, but it flirts with being too long.

    My vote for the next guest: Two Cops. I hear he's tricky to get, though. He's constantly being double-booked… for the same show.

    The Sunrise Blanket. J.J. really dunked Han in a street thug's toilet bowl. Memorable and somewhat frightening. Rumor: principal photography is still going on, under the name Red Harvest.

    This episode's "death pit" was kind of anticlimactic. I suppose the fans are somewhat to blame, though, with the overwrought, weird-ass submissions. I might be able to help; a friend of mine has been cooking up a vicious little K:CAT submission. Expect it.

    I dig the humor and authentic sound of the Tumblr ad, as well as the smooth vocal tones of this Charlie fellow. I'd like to see a callback to this spot in the future.

    Nice guy Tom has to drink a Foster's every 2 hours due to a misguided sponsorship deal his agent set up. Every penny that comes out of that deal, Tom gives to charity. Yes, even his flaws have a silver lining.

    Well, that's all I got for 29. Time to wrap this up wrap us up wrap us up wrap us up wrap us up

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Did the K-CAT segment drop us to a B? That was as solid a show as we've ever done. I don't know how to get an A! You're like Simon Cowell over here!

      • Qmzn says:

        I like to think of myself as more of a one-man Olympic judging panel. Tenths of a point were docked here and there. I switch between that method, and just making up a letter grade that will demoralize a podcastman the most.

        Either way, if I nitpick, I can usually find a few gelatinous parts. If it makes you feel any better, compared to some of the early podcasts, it's a brick.

        Don't you want some headroom for improvement, though? I can do the insincere "A+ 100/100 Great Job" sycophant thing if you want, but that costs extra.

        • MikeyNeumann says:

          I know there is absolutely always room for improvement, the letter grading, whether genuine or not, did take me a bit off guard. I enjoy all of your feedback, as always.

          Just making sure you're enjoying the show :)

  4. Ricky says:

    Huntyr Chase would be a cool guest.

  5. Kyle_Douglas says:

    First off, I'm extremely excited to hear about The Definitive Tumblr 2007-2013 Archive Collection. Kudos to them for such a bold strategy. Though I am a bit sad I won't get to see millions of 0.73 second gifs from "The Sunrise Blanket."

    I'm in agreement with Qmzn that Tiny Turtle overstayed his welcome a bit. I'm still definitely looking forward to his role as the head of Green Mjölnir in Four Thors.

    Future Guests: I'm not sure if Kris would go for it, but I think one or both of the main characters from F Chords complaining about Broodhollow and/or the Podcast's success could be hilarious.

    Also, a correction: My record isn't quite as bad as 0 for 4. My very first question (about live-action casting for Broodhollow/Returners) was answered. I'm not a perennial loser, huzzah!
    Wait, ew. Not huzzah. Booyah? No, no… that's worse.
    … I'll get back to you.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Heh. Listening back, I can understand that Tiny Turtle might have gone on a little long, but I have so much fun doing it that I couldn't stop. His Our Town was CHOICE, though.

    • Qmzn says:

      I'd go with "flamin' hot biscuits," as in:

      "I'm not a perennial loser, flamin' hot biscuits!"

      Trust me, it's gonna be a thing.

  6. John P says:

    Please have Cutter Edgewise on the podcast!

  7. I'd like to hear some classic Norby Pidge guitar work under the theme song one of these weeks

  8. Liz says:

    My vote is to have Two Cops as a guest on the cast.

  9. If we have to stick to chainsawsuit comic canon, my vote goes to Two Cops or Famous Chef. I wouldn't mind Huntyr Chase but I worry he would get old fast. He's not a likable fellow, that one.

    Outside chainsawsuit, I'll second the one vote I saw for Cutter Edgewise or basically anybody from Starslip.



  11. Kahl says:

    While funny for awhile, Tiny Turtle kind of made my ears glaze over after ten minutes.

  12. Stouffer's Derek says:


    NEED. DOWNLOAD.I, personally, would like to hear from Poop Man, possibly the best character ever to grace your virtual stage.

    Also, Kris. You’re awesome. So shut up. That sounds wrong. I would rephrase it, but I can’t think of anything. And I want you to know. You’re the best. Sure, I’m a Hiddlestone fan (Hiddlestoner? I’m not sure if that’s a thing), but I am also a Straubette. Straub- light. I dunno. You’re awesome. So shut up. ( not really, I just don’t know how to say it) Somebody, put it into words for me!

  13. ThomasG says:

    I vote for beer commercial husband and hot dog dad to make appearances in ads.

  14. Laura says:

    I support a Podcast with Cutter Edgewise as well. Otherwise you are doing a great job.

  15. scot says:

    I vote for no more pitch shifting. Or maybe change the settings, because it's always hard to understand.

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