Episode 26 – Epic


A long one, a special one for number 26. Mikey and Kris wreck the mic with over an hour of content!! Get ready for deep thoughts and startling revelations!! As always your comments are more than appreciated… they’re demanded.

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38 Responses to Episode 26 – Epic

  1. Zac Dozier says:

    Haha. Okay, I'm already cry-laughing at 1:27 into the podcast. Well, played guys.

  2. LMcCJ says:

    You hit the ground running this week. Great song!

    Mikey has the upper hand this week (no, that is not part of my KrisChoosesATopic bribe. Well, maybe…would that work?). I love dismissive Mikey. This week with his reaction to Kris-boob on Married With and the other week when Kris thought Beyonce could learn a lot from Freaky Fridaying with him. Ha ha!

    I note the seeds of the inevitable falling out: With the Freaky Friday episode, Kris didn't even *consider* Freaky Fridaying with Mikey. Now, this week, "You're not an actor." BAM! Add the new tensions as Mr. and Mrs. Cattrall-Neumann face-off against, what was his name… ? The end is nigh.

    Can't wait for you to pull it all together again next week!

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      I think it speaks to how *in tune* we are with each other every single week that the Married With Children gag actually threw me a bit. Serves me right after I trolled Kris in the previous two weeks pretty hard. Like when he said "you aren't yes anding me" and I did it again.

      I think "Mikey, you aren't yes anding me" is something I need on a t-shirt.

  3. Ford Dent says:

    Elijah Wood could probably pull off Wadsworth. He does a pretty decent job at the whole "I think I am going crazy but maybe I am not crazy but I'm not sure" in Wilford. But even that's kind of a stretch, maybe?

    • ThomasG says:

      no, please. he's too much mope and not enough cheer for wadsworth.

      quick ideas: rick moranis, jack mcbrayer, conan o'brien (if he could pretend to be short?!?), in reverse order.

      though there are people who do this for a living (which I do not) and i don't claim to hold any skill, these are my picks.

    • krisstraub says:

      Oh I actually like that. He is a little old for it now but I think he can be a cheerful paranoid.

  4. Cian Booth says:

    Is this a trick or are you guys actually the best?

  5. The Woman says:

    This was an incredibly funny episode throughout, though I was also all fired-up for an episode-long "Epic" farce ala the Stouffers experience after that amazing opening. Crouching Neumann, Hidden Straub. Dances with Chainsawsuits. The Count of Monte Kristo.

    So much delicious detail-filled commentary in the last third! Having some spoiler-filled stuff in the very very last few minutes is also an interesting idea that I liked (the yell WAS a horrible idea – NERD RAGE).

    Star Wars: Agreed on pretty much all counts EXCEPT the idea of having Luke flirt with the Dark Side again. I don't think you can ever go back there with that specific character after the "I am a Jedi, like my father before me" moment.

    As it happens, they did do a form of Mikey's sequel-ogy idea as their final pre-Disney storyline in their big messy Expanded Universe. Here it is on the Laverne and Shirl— er, Star Wars Wikia: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Second_Galactic_Ci
    Its execution left a lot to be desired. Hopefully JJ does a better job with all those decades of EU canon stripped away.

    I previously held the opinion that kids should see Star Wars (the originals) before the classic twist is ruined for them, but I am now also considering a malicious campaign to show them all the second half of Revenge of the Sith to ruin everything at once. Both options seem equally valuable on a karmic scale.

    Mazel tov and here's hoping for all happiness and a journey that's Epic to Episode 51: Epic 2: Epic Too.

    • The Woman says:

      Gah, correction: It was their second-to-last pre-Disney storyline.
      I incorrectly regarded it as the last since I didn't bother reading any further after the civil war bit was so badly executed.

  6. Dave says:

    Man, I could have listened to an entire podcast of that Star Wars talk.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      I think we could have talked about it for an entire podcast! We were like twenty minutes over and I didn't care. That's such a fun topic to dive into.

  7. LMcCJ says:

    Forgot to mention, Mikey, the new equipment is money well spent. You and Kris sounded much more even this week. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought you were in the same room.

  8. Willie G says:

    oh yeah Auto-tune 😀

  9. Really excited to have been a Kris Chooses a Topic semi-finalist, or as I prefer to think of it, a Mikey Chooses a Kris Chooses a topic winner. I think we all went out there and gave it our all. I saw a lot of heart out there. Lot of determination. And at the end of the day as long as we know, deep down, deep deep down, that we gave 110%, well then we can stand proud. Good hustle kids. Good hustle. Okay, I'm hitting the showers.

  10. @qmznkrv says:

    Finally turned on, tuned in, and dropped out to this week's podcast-most-epic (got sidetracked by the new micro-installment of Borderplace for Hypercard on Mac). I want to start serious, outside the Sawboys universe. As per your demand, please enjoy my usual text vomit. Hey, I gotta be me.

    Mikey, you continue to sharpen your sound-production teeth, and it shows. It may be lost on some, but in my ears, I can hear the effects of better equipment (great, warm sound this week), as well as a more practiced hand controlling the mix. At the same time, Kris is keeping performance pace with the tech advancements, in both commercials and discussion.

    Long story short, "Kim" does good work, which continues to improve. I know it carries less weight coming from a Johnny-come-lately stranger instead of a professional sound technician, but at least the compliment is genuine. Bona fide, even.

    My thoughts on this week's content:

    I'd say 26 would be a good place for a new listener to come in. It's a well-rounded, balanced work, representing everything the podcast has been about up to this point. Silly songs, callback commercials, a "producer" skit, choose-a-topic, sci-fi movie discussion, and the "fantasy casting", which is a smart, indirect way to promote respective Kris/Mikey works.

    I don't feel like there was a truly outrageous, mind-blowing segment, but that's fine, because everything was clean, concise, unforced, and flowed well. With less drag, the hour-twenty felt like an hour. Favorite part, revealing the existence of the "Arby's Shaved Beef Hat". I wouldn't go passing that kind of privileged info around, though. You might get hit with a DMCA takedown.

    The BIG SEVEN part came close to blowing my mind, but considering I have one of those childhoods that was shaped by Star Wars, then later brutalized by Lucas's mid-life arrogance, listening to you two shape the concept of a good Star Wars movie just fills me with a combination of sadness and rage.

    Going full-on un-serious.

    Now, I don't mean to add grist to the rumor mill, but there maybe kinda might be a weekly podcast-about-podcast with guests in the works, that discusses the Chainsawsuit. Chris Hardwick tapped to host, first guests, Wil Wheaton and Kim Cattrall. A friend of a friend of an acquaintance let me listen to a sample segment, where Kim discusses the first time she realized she wanted to produce a radio show, back on the set of "Big Trouble in Little China". The audio quality wasn't great, so maybe it's a total fan-generated hoax, but if it wasn't, somebody's ears were burning like a blade.

    No offense, but if it takes off, I may just start listening to this li'l thing called Explainsawsuit instead. My time is money, and if you Chatty Catherines keep breaking past the hour mark, you're putting me in the red, and you may find yourselves metaphorically and/or literally looking for work at T.G.I. Friday's.

    • LMcCJ says:

      Explainsawsuit–I like it!

      • @qmznkrv says:

        My source said there was a lot of discussion over branding. In preproduction, it was The Talking Chainsaws, which persisted for a little while through the iterations. Up until the last minute, it was The Chainsaw-it-for-you-suit Podcast, but then they realized they wanted something shorter that would fit on all the merch and promo materials.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Your episode reviews continue to be a highlight of the comments for me. At the top you said "nothing was mind-blowing" and my brain immediately went "but-but-but the episode seven–" and then you clarified why the Star Wars chat didn't blow your jorts up.

      Tonight on Explainsawsuit: Hardwick gets his hands waxy. Find out how crayons are made!

      • @qmznkrv says:

        Yeah, the segment "missed my exhaust port by that much". Sorry, I shouldn't quote movies so often, but I am a fan of Get Smart Wars. And italics tags!

        For the mind-blow, I kinda wanted to hear something like this at the end:

        Mikey: We're actually discussing this because we have some major news. Michael Arndt is recovering from a crippling Spicy B addiction, so…
        Kris: Mikey and I are officially co-writing Star Wars: Episode 7.

        I don't even care if it's lies, it would counterbalance the "NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER HAPPEN TO STAR WARS EVER AGAIN IT'S RUINED" pit in my soul.

        I'm relieved Explainsawsuit is out in the open, as well as the Crayola sponsorship. I was technically breaking NDA.

        • MikeyNeumann says:

          I think Kris and I would make an awesome writing team for big movies. We could be the next ORCI and KURTZMAN! Somehow writing every single movie and tv show on the planet.

          I want Star Trek 3. Kris, wanna do the next Trek with me? I got ideas, man.

          • krisstraub says:

            Here's my idea for the opening: The bridge of the Enterprise. Shaking. Under attack. Kirk makes some rash decision, Spock is level-headed, etc, etc. Suddenly a familiar voice: "Computer, end program." The scene fades to yellow-gridded walls and floor, and only Captain Sisko of Deep Space Nine remains. He says, "That's enough of that nonsense."

            Star Trek 3 is DS9 Season 8.

          • @qmznkrv says:

            I like it, I love it, it's got legs, but I have some concerns.

            DS9 is far too intellectual for the current Star Trek demographic. The dialogue is rife with big, confusing words, like "shapeshifter", and "wormhole". It's needs to be more lightweight. Hip. Modern.

            Suggestion: The Dax symbiote now resides in a 12-year-old boy named Adidas. Still good friends with Sisko, Adidas Dax likes to affectionally punch Sisko in the junk, accompanied by the catchphrase, "Seedless grapes, yolo!" We might even be able to pull in some viewership from the Jackass franchise.

            If that doesn't sing to you, we've got a fallback. Picture this. Star Trek: Triple Tribble Trouble. Three times the Trek, three times the Tribbles, three times the augmented blood. Tagline on the posters, "Death: Where No Man Will Ever Boldly Go Again."

            (Douchebag producer mode de-activated. Please don't hate me. I really do love Star Trek.)

  11. John P. says:

    “It’s the ChainSoooooongSuuuuuuuuit”

  12. mike pray love says:

    Thank you for answering a question I've had for a long time.

  13. @evilbadman says:

    I maintain that calendar stores are a thing, and I am not insane.

    • LMcCJ says:

      I'll back you up. They pop-up in our mall every year. Our podcastmen are becoming so famous they're losing touch with the masses. I don't know what we're going to do if they stop going to chain restaurants or flying commercial.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      I know the seasonal calendar mall stores by which you refer. They're often constructed out of cheap metal grids held together with plastic and dreams. I guess I didn't put together that those are 1) in any way a chain and 2) the brand is simply "The Calendar Store."

      Live and learn, as they say.

  14. Michael Arndt just got canned as Episode VII's writer. Maybe they heard the podcast and are making room for the Mikey/Kris writing team? Huh? Huh?

    • The Woman says:

      With high profile talents like Steven Moffat having made previous appearances on the podcast, maybe we can look forward to JJ and Lawrence "Ewoks" Kasdan setting the record straight.

      Kasdan was previously a "consultant" before being lifted to full writer, so I'm sure they now have some seats free on the team.

      I look forward to a character who accidentally enrolled in Luke's Jedi Academy twice.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      That was the first thing I thought of today when I saw the news — I was like, wow, what incredibly strange timing.

      I trust JJ heard our shennans and went, "Crap. I have to do every single thing those guys said to do."

  15. @lowguppy says:

    Ok, gotta put my simpsons-comicbook-guy hat on for a minute here to say that what you refer to as "fan fiction" are official novels that are recognized as canon and written by some very good writers. The "what happens after Jedi" question has been answered very well by Timothy Zahn's novels. /comicbookguy

    I am disappointed that we are not getting those novels turned into movies (Thrawn would be the perfect marketable iconic villain) but at least they are allowing enough time to have elapsed so that those stories have already happened when episode 7 begins.

  16. Matt says:

    "School Shut Down and Kids Hospitalized After 6th Grade Boys Spray Too Much Axe"

  17. AGuyWhoIsHereNow says:

    I think a Joan of Arc that was more brutish and tough rather than hot and spicy would be a unique,and realistic twist. She was a warrior, why does everyone assume she was hot (like in that movie with Dustin Hoffman)?

    It would be more interesting to see a capable warrior than someone who looks like a model and would probably barely be able to hold a sword let alone swing one. Just saying.

  18. AGuyWhoIsHereNow says:

    Also! I think it would be awesome if the force stopped working, and suddenly the remaining Jedi are useless. They won't do that, of course, because everyone wants to see force powers. But imagine more regular people using light sabers, imagine the de-limbing.

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