Episode 24 – Project Masterclass


Another week, another Chainsawsuit podcast. This episode, Mikey and Kris bang the boards and go hard in the paint! With basketball. (Actually basketball isn’t mentioned even once, so don’t worry about it.)

  • HOT NEWS on the launch of Broodhollow Book 2 and Mikey’s new novelette, vena cavawhich is on Amazon now for a paltry 99 cents. Get it for your Kindle automated interbook device.
  • Ravings about Sandra Bullock and Gravity — it’s a great movie, check it out
  • The tyranny of Neil Degrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku
  • Kris Chooses A Topic returns with more of your topics! (If you have an idea for one, send it to Mikey at krischoosesatopic@chainsawsuit.com)

Have a hot week! As always we appreciate your reviews and ratings on iTunes or even here in the comments. Cut and paste some stars from IMDB and make it a real DIY deal down there.

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24 Responses to Episode 24 – Project Masterclass

  1. @qmznkrv says:

    I don't know what I'm supposed to say here. Episode 24 of this podcast is entertaining? Yes. It's not full of giggle-laden narcissist moron chatter, just like the other six or so I've listened to so far. Good product. If a 88/100 is average, and a 2/10 is on sale for 5 dollars, I give it 4/5 stars.

    Favorite parts? I will sum it up with a song that doesn't exist, but should.

    "Tim Gunn – Make It Work, But Don't Watch the Star Wars Prequels – Extended Mix (feat. Nasonex Bee).mp3"

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      How can we get to a 5/5? We don't go for all-out humor, which is something I think is impossible to pull off week after week. We go for interesting with a lot of laughs, especially with the commercials.

    • krisstraub says:

      i think i downloaded that song once on kazaa.

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      Wait. Just reread your comment. There's a double negative in there. Are you saying the _other_ six episodes you listened to _were_ full of "giggle-laden narcissist moron chatter?"

      • @qmznkrv says:

        I thought the double negative might be confusing, but I left it in because I'm a confusing caustic enigma. To clarify:

        The Chainsawsuit podcast isn't the kind of podcast where people who are in love the sound of their own voice say stupid things they shouldn't and I don't have any problem with that. Does that not make more sense, maybe?

        I don't give out the last star to make a perfect 5/5 unless there's something in it for me. It can be a poorly-made pie with a envelope full of money, macguffin in a suitcase, Doritos, two cops, whatever.

        Okay, all facetious nonsense aside…

        I've listened to 22-24, and then 1-6 when working the back catalogue. I normally don't like podcasts, because most I've heard are pretentious ones with bloggers who laugh at their own stupid jokes. The Chainsawsuit podcast is on the opposite end of the spectrum in the not-stupid zone, and while it's not perfect (what is?), I'm surprised to find I'm greatly enjoying it.

        I don't like numerical scores, and I believe you folks share the sentiment. At the risk of embarrassment and social ostracization, here's my honest take. Have a wall of text, you earned it.

        Combination of scripted humor and intelligent discussion of a wide-range of topics. If it were just one or the other, I probably wouldn't listen. There would be no balance.
        Educated vocabulary, with many words featuring over six letters and five syllables.
        Rants, especially about the destruction of the Star Wars franchise, or the disgusting nature of feet, which goes hand-in-hand with:
        Mikey and Kris Anecdotal Story Times. Ruth's Chris/T.G.I. Friday's jumps to mind as a favorite.
        Plugging Respective Works, even if I already know about them. It feels highly appropriate, and the mild fake self-deprecation is enjoyable.
        Impersonations, both interspersed throughout dialogue and in the commercials. I feel they are at their best in the latter, and are usually funnier when exaggerated beyond accuracy.
        Jokes and commentary on the actual production of the podcast, especially when it involves allusions to a nonexistent production team.
        Recurring themes and characters. Red Lobster, Stouffer's, Tiny Turtle, et cetera.
        "Kris Chooses a Topic". I like the choose-your-own-adventure aspect of the choices.

        Please enjoy or do not enjoy this quote from "Get Him to the Greek" before continuing:

        "Aldous Snow: What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect."

        Feel Ambivalence Towards:
        The PG-13 Rating. I like a little vulgarity, but I can see why you'd avoid it.
        When "Saw It For You" gets confused or breaks the fourth wall by pointing out the lies. I like it pointed, rapid, and concise, like short bursts of automatic gunfire. That seems to be the direction it's going, so I'm not complaining at all, just affirming what I like and what I don't.
        When actual movie discussion has to dance around spoilers. I feel like that leaves too much "I love it" or "I hated it" with a big blank for the justification.
        I worry "Kris Chooses a Topic" could hurt some feelings if a person's name or screen name is attached to a comment that's deemed inane, or simply not chosen. It might scare people off from using the submission E-mail, or from sending the truly bizarre topics that will really make the segment sing.
        I've heard television discussion, movie discussion, literary discussion, life discussion, but as of yet, no video game discussion. Have I just not landed on any yet, or does it hit too close to home for Mikey and/or you're sick of it? I don't necessarily want it, I just find the absence curious.

        Suggestion Box:
        I like the rants a lot. Provided it's not actually generating any real anger or stress, I think it'd be cool to have a 5-minute timed rant session from one speaker, with the other wielding a stopwatch. In other words, I'd like to see Mikey try to fill Star Wars full of holes within a time-limit.
        Perhaps "Kris Chooses A Topic" submissions should default to "from an anonymous source" (you know, like the phantom whistleblowers bloggers fabricate on a slow news day). If the sender really wants their ego stroked or mutilated on-air, they can request it in the submission.
        Perhaps a single episode that's a NC-17 swear-tastic vulgarity catharsis where nearly everything has to be bleeped out? Eh, maybe that's too contrived…

        Now, if you'll excuse me, the 7th was my birthday (spurring my brief absence from the internet), and I got this really cool Laserbeak Transformer, and I really need to fixate on his spring-loaded transformation for an hour or three.

        • MikeyNeumann says:

          Quite possibly the single greatest comment in the history of comments. Thank you immensely for such even and useful feedback.

          I feel like you enjoy my Star Wars hate. It fuels you in some way.

          Gooooooood. Goooooooooooood. Give in to it.

          • @qmznkrv says:

            Never. I'll never turn to the Dark… wait…

            Okay, I'll turn to the Dark Side, but only if I get to sit in a throne and act like a jerk all the time.

            "Ohhh, I'm a-fraaai-d the deflector shield will be ka-white op-er-a-tion-al when your friends arrive."

            I used to rant a lot, especially about Star Wars. It earned me the nickname "Angarr the Barbarian" for a while. Then I traded up the nickname for lower blood pressure.

  2. iaoth says:

    Speaking of hard sci-fi, have you guys read any Greg Egan? Just wanted to mention him in case you haven't read his stuff. He's always rewriting the laws of the universe in all kinds of ways, while crafting stories that keep me engaged.

  3. LMcCJ says:


    It's cool to be me. Today Kristofer McCann Jeffers, tomorrow Mikey McCann Jeffers, and the day after that The McCann Jeffers Podcast. Thanks chainsawsuit: the podcast, your utility has come to a close. Muah, ha, ha.

    I hear Tiny Turtle is up for Christian Grey in 50 Shades (Charlie Hunnam just wasn't bringing the heat).

    • MikeyNeumann says:

      I think we're not to a Mikey McCann Jeffers yet. That's gonna take some work.

      • krisstraub says:

        yeah, mikey is the tough get. i'm easy.

        • MikeyNeumann says:

          And, correct me if I'm wrong, Kristofer McCann Jeffers is simply the MOST professional name known to man, that's why you use it. It's mathematically provable, fyi.

      • LMcCJ says:

        (Why won't this land where I want it to?)

        Mikey, I am undeterred.

        Kris, it is your infinite wisdom that has won the day here! That and Straub being a commonly mispronounced name that you are well rid of.

        (Whoa, how many poorly constructed sentences can I include in one Comment?)

  4. thatfrood says:

    Gravity was super good and that it managed to pull off an astronaut film that had entirely nothing to do with astronauts and entirely to do with a woman's depression is even more impressive.
    I will say though that the movie suffered pretty bad from its dialogue, which was written in such a way to make sure "nobody" missed out on the metaphor Cuaron was making. I think it would have been better with a lot of the dialogue, at least the overt dialogue that directly called out the premise of the entire film, cut or altered.

  5. I cannot, CAN NOT, have too much Tiny Turtle. I could listen to that little guy have his artistic ideals sidelined, marginalised and just generally chewed up by the cruel maw of popular entertainment every day.

  6. Adrian Wood says:

    No comment on the show here, except to say I’m really enjoying this podcast and thanks for making it, but… Mikey. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey.

    I went to that fly-by-night ebook peddler you mentioned… Amaze On? An A-Zone? Whatever. And they told me I can’t buy your short story over here in merry old England! Why are you working with these amateurs?

  7. Gristle says:

    Well then. HERE ARE MY DEMANDS

    Please sirs I'd really like to hear 19 and the triple door shows.

    and um a commercial compilation? Maybe sometime?

  8. LMcCJ says:

    Who knows the future? This gal! Get Tiny Turtle's agent on the phone.

  9. AGuyWhoIsHereNow says:

    I'm way late, I know. But! I watched Alien, Fire in the Sky, The Shining, Poltergeist, Nightmare on Elm St., Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and too many others before I was 6 thanks to poor parenting and a kind of evil cousin. The result: sleep did not happen till I was like 12. But, I love nearly all of those movies now…so it gets better?

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