on 

please let me do a TED talk, guys. i have so many good high-sounding ideas, and i’d look so perfect and so good on that stage in a smart sport coat, white oxford shirt, khakis and expensive sneakers. i would click the slides forward at the right times, and i’d bring a lot of warmth and humor to topics like how a smile affects brain chemistry, and how to change the world with just 9 seconds of music per day

i could smirk and do polite little know-it-all sneers and pause for thunderous applause and all the good TED stuff, i just know it! everyone gets to do a TED. why can’t i do a TED

i’ll even settle for stupid TEDx :(