what? oh, it’s not a problem? never a problem. hmm. i guess that’s good news. okay, infomercial cancelled
H…how many times would you like it to happen to you? I've got time on my hands.
"I mean, it did just now, but you told me to do that. Is this thing on?"
My favorites are the hair removal products where someone gets cut with a razor because they assault their leg with it.
Alright Sally, in this scene you're going to cut your leg open, brutally, with a razor. You have 10 seconds. It had better look painful, or we'll have someone do it for you.
Sally, would you like to play a game?
It rubs the razor on its skin, or it has to do the scene again.
There's also the one for the ear wax vacuum where the guy tries to rip his ear open with a Q-tip
"Wait.. Really? Never? Drat! I totally invented a new invention to prevent that from happening."
… then you need the Kitchen Chaosizer! Now just $9.99! Order now and we'll throw in a toddler hyped up on Fruit Loops!
I really wish this was actually a thing, so we could only see the infomercials with products we actually need!
I keep saying, infomercials are the hardest job an actor will face. "Okay. We need you to do the "before" scene in black & white. You need to find a way to fuck up toilets. Just… do it wrong. Go."
In that case, I'd say job well done: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRx49-leiRE
I read this as "infomercials are the hardest job for actors with a face." I am now haunted by the image of faceless actors doing commercials.
But how can you extol the virtues of the product, Mr Anderson, when you have no mouth?
I have no mouth and I must shill.
Well, uh, do give me a call when it happens. Cause it will. Happen.
Why no, my kitchen utensils never levitate at jaunty angles while I do the Gangnam Style dance.
And you call that living?!
If its never happened to you, then you're obviously doing something wrong. Here's Dr Murder to show you our new patented copyrighted trademarked system.
Did Kris just watch the commercial for the WaxVac?
But where did the soda go
You appear to be getting downvotes, presumably from people who have never heard of http://reddit.com/r/wheredidthesodago
Do your magnetic induction burners ever.. un.. duct.. or something? Then you need our re..duct thingy pans, yeah.
Never Times sounds like it could be the title to a Neil Gaiman book.
What if it happens to me all the time, but it's always intentional?
What a coincidence, I just ran into this the other day: http://www.buzzfeed.com/julianbrand/40-gifs-of-st…
My favorite so far is the ear-wax-removal ad, where they show the guy jamming a Q-tip into his ear before screaming "OW!" and jumping, pulling the Q-tip out, and looking at it, like, "How could you hurt me like that?!" And he actually *says* the word, "Ow" when he screams, too! Ah, the laughs I get from that ad!
It's such a small world – precisely that thing has never happened to me either.
It's a crazy world for sure.
But I've been attacked by poltergeists on several occasions. maybe this is relevant to me?
It feels as if those kinds of advertisements are intended for distributing spy gadgets to infiltrators from another universe who aren't quite used to their human suits.
There's even a TVTropes entry about the problem: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooInc…
Danger! TV Tropes link!
Long ago, in the land of Never Times, that shit happened to me never.
There is a great music video along these lines: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08xQLGWTSag
http://www.reddit.com/r/wheredidthesodago/ is full of ridiculous stuff from infomercials.