on 

hey virus (or was it a bacterium),

does it feel good knowing that you’re such a quitter? i mean, i didn’t want to be sick at all, but if you’re gonna go for it, may as well go all out, right? instead i just got an intense 12 hours of misery and then nothin. that was god’s plan for you, i guess

and don’t think you’re off the hook, overachieving illnesses — when you kill the host, you’re killing yourself!! find the happy medium, guys

come on