you only live once — i asked for a shirley temple but had them put two maraschino cherries in it this time
erry day erry day
Whoa, there. There's a difference between living on the edge and cutting it right the fuck off.
It's the big risks that make you feel truly alive.
Will the line cook really put up with this kind of ridiculous bread micromanagement in his own diner?
Maybe he won't – then again maybe he will. (I can almost guarantee he gets the heel.)
This time he wants to piss OFF the staff.
You know what? Today when I get off work, I'm gonna undo an extra button on my dress shirt. Cause gosh darn it, it's nice outside.
So that'll be 5 buttons instead of the usual 4?
I'm not sure I understand, my cuff only has 2.
Nice off-the-cuff remark.
Just noticed the ad at the top for easy chicken sandwiches, easy egg salad sandwiches featuring Egg Beaters, and commercial mowers.
I hate Tyga. Every time I hear that song I want to ear clap him Sherlock Holmes style
I'm so extraordinarily cheap that I could never do this.
I PAID FOR THAT CRUST. You're not stealing my crust from me.
Egg salad sandwich, crust on the side please.
The cook accidentally cooked the sandwich twice, now it's… burnt!
You're going to be a crusty miser one day.
Well, aren't you quite the crustomer.
This guy with the round head is taking it to the edge. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Ew, the sandwich is too mushy without a crust. I wish I hadn't done that.
My life is full of regrets.
You only live once – so make sure to regret every damn second.
He's made enough for two sandwiches, boy, stunt double.
"Wait! come back! Could you just put the crust on the side? Thanks."
*Close one there. baby steps… baby steps…*
15 minutes later: He gets hit by a car. YOLO
"do i want to be reincarnated? well, i guess so. YOLO!"
ah jesus, easy there cogburn
I DO NOT EAT I AM A CONSTRUCT OF PURE ENERGY AND THOUGHT BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ASSIMILATE YOUR MEMORY OF EGG TASTE PLEASE THANK YOU…WITHOUT CRUST TASTE MEMORY…
YOU ONLY PROPAGATE FOREVER ONCE
THESE TEMPORAL COORDINATES ARE THE INITIAL COORDINATES FOR ALL SUBSEQUENT EVENTS OCCURRING WITHIN THE TOTALITY OF YOUR EXISTENCE.
This just made my day.
Due to being a germophobe, he eats the sandwich with a knife and fork.
He knows YOLO, but he wants to LALAP.