i have confirmed the existence of this group with nearly every male i know
see also: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04292008
I will not.
Wow, a lot of people hate Achewood?
It got really boring and sort of a jerk eventually, but that one is old*, so it's probably okay. Not reading it anyway, out of excess spite.
*Not as old as this post I'm responding to!
No bond is as strong as that between people on the internet who hate the same things. Stupid Achewood.
Clandestine eating just got super-sized.
Taco Lab+ Burrito Boys? Bold move there Kris, let's see if it pays off.
"Would you like that to go?"
yeah, i once went with some friends to taco bell and we ate it sit-down, in the restaurant. i was stunned to find there were seats and tables inside. i was so used to eating it alone, crouched down low in my car, parked behind a dumpster
Your wife finds out when you're arrested by the Community Watch officer on suspicion of stealing food from behind the Safeway.
I'd have thought from all the pleasure moans coming from his car they'd think he was getting a little "afternoon delight" from a street walker, instead of quasi-mexican food.
Either way it's him getting pleasure from a 5 buck box so the confusion is understandable.
If I had a wife, I would do this.
Call your mom and tell her about all the bad crap you've been eating. Same exact thing.
I think all men do this.
"Oh sure honey, I'll take this salad… With no dressing… Or Baco Bits… and eat it for lunch today at work…"
Lunch time rolls around, he's eating a McRib sandwich doused in KFC gravy and a chocolate milkshake.
Mm this gravy is good but– *cough*
I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of women do this too. While I was dating a vegetarian, I would have to sneak out for a bacon cheeseburger fix at least once a month.
The way of the Burrito Boy is fraught with peril. Should even the slightest amount of fried cheese, hot sauce, or greasy ground beef be noticed by one's wife, that unfortunate Burrito Boy (dubbed a "Broy" in the Midwest, a "Kiosker" in the New York area, a "Gravy Gambler" in the South, a "Ravenous Refugee" in the Rockies, and a "Flying Tract" in California) will suffer a fate worse than death, namely, the disapproving stare of his wife. Many a Broy has dropped out of the trade; I don't think any less of them. This trade can bring a strong man to his knees. Burrito Boys are born, not made. Not everyone has the courage or the skill to pull it off. But the taste of that delicious, artery-clogging grease is worth the risk, son.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to rinse out my mouth with mouthwash for a third time. Today was Chalupa Day.
Oh no, the wife's out of town this weekend and I'm with the Kombucha Kid! I need to keep up this healthy facade or he'll report back when she gets home.
"Dear God, she's making something with edamame in it! Raise Pizza Hut on the SatCom! It's listed in contacts as 'Doctor I See Annually'."
One of the Burrito Boys almost got busted by his wife when she smelled cilantro on his breath as he came home. Quick thinking got him out of a jam, claiming it was a new flavor of Breath Savers in the Meximint line.
I've never thought of myself as a member of an elite squad. Now I can't imagine anything else.
No Boiga Bros reference anywhere?
NOW YA BOYIN'
It's worse when she prepares a meal for you, and you're too guilt ridden to actually throw the food out before you eat your greasy substitute.
Sometimes I take it home and put it back in the fridge. "Did you forget your lunch today?" "No, sweetie. Someone bought me lunch today. They were very considerate."
my angel, i didn't eat the meal you prepared for me with love, instead choosing one made with ingredients that will accelerate my death, assembled by a miserable stranger who may very well have spit in it
But now I can take your lovingly crafted epicurean delight TOMORROW, so everything is fine.
(In actuality, if she makes it, I eat it because I love her)
((She might be reading this…))
((Good thing you hid that in double parentheses or she might have noticed it))
What is worse is when you DO throw it away. Then later, she asks "How was lunch?", and you say "It was good, thank you". That guilt stays with you…..
The only step down from there is when you eat her lunch at 10:00, THEN ALSO go out later just so you don't have to lie.
I feel like an addict…..
Do I smell a Boiga Bruddas/ Burrito Boys crossover?
Oh boy, what Burritos!
Burrito Boys member 1377 reporting. Change of pace today fellas, the target site is Cluck-U for Nuke sauced wings.
The correct response to someone saying "let's make salad for dinner" is "make mine a Hot Sal™."
I hit the comment button twice. Now I'm TWO COMMENTS.
and i'm his brother, no comments!*
*no upvotes :(
Your prediction has stood the test of time …
Unfortunately, yours has not.
Gotta risk the 'rhea to stay alive.
I considered myself bulletproof until my wife found a pizza box in my car. How can you possibly explain that?
"I wanted to hide the chocolates and jewelry I bought for your birthday."
"My birthday was in November."
"I forgot to throw out the box?" *beer commercial husband shrug*
"That was from Joe. You wouldn't believe what this guy does….his wife makes him lunch every day, but he secretly pays me to drive him to burger hut. I wouldn't normally participate in something like that, but the extra money is helping me save up for that diamond necklace you wanted…."
I prefer the Cliff Huxtable method of stuffing a slab of apple pie underneath the salad in his lunch container. http://splicd.com/sdGpytdJ3aw/152/265
*sponsored by Crispburger.
I did this literally yesterday.
this would actually be a perfect real Taco Bell commercial, particularly for their new Dorito Tacos item
This is absolutely true and now there should be a bunch of paragraphs in the comments section from people who don't like seeing their situation trivialized in comic form and just. can't. let. go.
Oh wait that was yesterday?
I see. Under cover of work, they meet, so that under cover of work, they meat.
Quick! Delete this comic before the women find out!
Relax! There's no internet in the kitchen…
But they have iPhones now! :(
For real? We cannot let them know that this continues to exist. Because every time someone like Kris brings it up, we have to be all "no, baby, I'm not like that. Are you kidding me? There are 5,000 calories in a Chipotle burrito. I told you I was done with that life. I told you I was gluten-free veggie all the way. I meant it."
And then we have to drive to the next town over for lunch. That's more gas. That's longer lunch breaks. That's more lies. The costs are becoming exorbitant.
The comic has actually done you all favor. Now they will be like "Oh, haha, males!"
Yessss, it is all the internet joke…
Honestly at this point my favorite part is the thrill of getting away with it. In other news my gf will now never be allowed to read chainsawsuit.
They look so furtive.
It raises the question: when you're choking down your fourth Pepperjack Guaconnaise Bäco® (that is, a taco with a crispy bacon shell) in the span of a half hour, are you doing it because you're addicted to the food? Or because you're addicted to the danger of being discovered?
It started so simply. I would only nibble on forbidden chips, bags of spicy nacho tortitos – angrily washing my hands as the orange greasy smears would give me away. Then, I graduated to the full-nacho-shell tacos. Its only been a few weeks. I feel the urge, the desire — to mainline some sweet, sweet orange fry grease from the dumpster behind the chili-bbq-burger place.
Once you 'range, you can't bounce back… but who would want to. (drool)
Honestly, the best burrito I've ever had.
This is the first time ever where I can honestly say I'm glad my wife doesn't read chainsawsuit….
Sorry, Kris, but you would've gotten me found out!
(P.S. The next meeting is in 3 hours at Taco Bell….bring concealed wet naps…)
I for all time emailed this website post page to all my contacts, since if like to read it then my friends will too.
To verify that I am doing right I broke down the things quite painstakingly when I do my essay for me . start exploring the conflicts of the papers you're examining. Unmistakably describe the cases, work out the illustrations, the verification. Hunt down inadequacies of method of reasoning, and also qualities.