please stay on the line for the next available loved one
What's the hold music?
That or "Cat's in the Cradle."
"If you are calling to apologize for not calling more often, please press * for a pre-recorded lecture in order to save your poor mother the breath. Your call will then be put through, you ungrateful bastard."
What about daughtercodes?
He's obviously an only child, so adding support for daughter codes would be foolish for his parents to do.
What about sex changes? What's the backup system there?
That's what he gets for only calling his dad when he needs to borrow money to pay for that iPhone.
What happens if you press 2?
You get a message saying "Son, I knew you could never listen to instructions. That's why you never went to college to become a lawyer like me. Are you even looking for a job? And I've already given up, but your mother still expects a grandchild from you before we die."
*sniff* the sweet sounds of home.
Gracias para llamar parentco. Por su papa, oprima 1. Por su mama, oprima 3.
Unforunately for him, "I hate my parents" shortcuts him to a ten minute speech about how much they've done for him. Why, when his father was his age…
I put up with this crap for 22 years, but when they started charging ATM fees, I finally made the switch. Citizen's Credit Union of Lacrosse is my new parents and I haven't looked back.
I could live with it until they started outsourcing the call centre to a foster family.
i like how crude having "1" for the father and "3" for the mother is.
"Based on your response 'I ate my parents' – the authorities have been notified. Please remain where you are until a family relation associate can assist you."
Option 2 transfers the call to the grandparents??
Option 2 is for Spanish, obviously.
Para un regaño en español, presione el número 2
oops i entered my sun code by mistake and now we're knee-deep in healthy organic corn chips
The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.
lol a reference
i read this in the moviefone voice for some reason.
I feel worse for the Uncle. "What? Whaddya want? Who? Oh that douchebag. I mean yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I know he's your father and all but he ain't no saint if ya know what I mean. Oh don't take that tone with me, young man. I can still kick your ass. You ain't my kid. You didn't spring from my loins. What have you ever done for me? Huh? Oh wait here he is – hey Bob, it's your kid – alright kiddo have a good one."
WHY IS THIS THE LAST PLACE ON THE INTERNET FREE OF META-POSTS OR ANYTHING BUT HILARIOUS COMMENTS?
i ruined chainsawsuit :(
As the youngest, I always get: "You are number THREE in queue"