no disassemble

Oct12

on October 12, 2011

ah, but she is correct, zese humans zey do not stay assembled forevair

└ Tags: disassemble, existentialism, foucault, johnny five, newton crosby, number five, philosophy, public health, robot, short circuit, stephanie

LuDux

still here for the boners bone me home oh won't you please bone me home
- bjlong
  
  Take me down to the bonering city
  Where the grass is dicks
  and they all stand pretty
  Please, please bone me home
  (x2)
  
  Just a virgin livin' under the street
  I'm a hard dick that's tough to beat
  I'm the bonertude base
  So gimme pictures of feet
  I'll pay you at another time,
  Take it to the end of the line.
  
  Take me down…
  
  Rags to bitches or so they say
  You gotta keep bonin' down syphillis lane
  You know its all a gamble with a diseased dame
  You treat that with some nasty slime,
  Then pay the ho for her time.
  
  Take me down…
  
  Strapped to the wall in yo' momma's bed chamber
  What's the safeword? Can't quite remember
  My bonerroovey days have blown back on me
  I'd dick her sister but I can't see
  I think her name Genevieve.
  
  Take me down…
  
  So bone away (x4)
  
  Captain Porno's been torn apart
  Now he's a toaster vendor in Walmart
  He's scouting talent for "The Toasty Fart"
  With his expert genital eye
  "Are you blind?"
  He's seen it all a million times.
  
  Take me down… (x4)
  
  I want to go,
  I want to bone
  Please, please bone me home.
  
  I want to see
  If I'm STD free
  Please, please bone me home.
  
  Take me down to the bonering city
  Where the grass is dicks
  And they all stand pretty
  Bone me home
  
  Take me down to the bonering city
  Where the grass is dicks
  And they all stand pretty
  Oh won't you bone me home
  
  Beat me down
  Bone me down
  Oh won't you please sex me home
  
  I want to see
  You looking at me
  This dick needs to be shown
  
  I need to pee
  Could you hurry please
  Add it to my great boner throne.
  
  Take me down to the bonering city
  Where the grass is dicks
  And they all stand pretty
  Please, please bone me home
  
  I want to go
  And go and go
  Until theres nothing left to boooooooooooooooooooooooooo (drum solo) ooooooooooone!
  
  -Guns and Hoses
  - Sean
    
    I'm actually crying right now, effing beautiful.
- o0o
  
  hey laserlips, your mother was a snowblower!
Cuthain

This is simply the best! Aces all around!
Dudely

Hey thanks for making the greatest thing ever. Which is this comic right here. It's incredible.
- laspaz
  
  It's this one you're reading right now.
  - resoltier
    
    Achievement unlocked: You're reading the best comic ever, right here.
PaulishMH

Ah… LEGOs, K'Nex and Kierkegaard.
wykstrad

See, a human would need to start with Camus, but Johnny Five was already far enough along to understand deconstruction.
Denog

I don't get it. Is the joke that he is in gay paris?
- bangomango
  
  exactly, philosophy makes ppl gay, and french…
  go read some and see for yourself
  - James
    
    I just figured since all his human friends were dead, Johnny doesn't feel the pressure of their judgemenal nature anymore. So now he lives his dream of being an openly gay robot in Paris.
Algernon

I wonder how artificial intelligence would deal with philosophy. Eagerly awaiting first AI philosopher.
- PaulishMH
  
  Emotionless and like, morbidly clinical about everything?
  - Algernon
    
    So, kinda like what analytical philosophists are trying to be, only more excessive?
    - Rowbot
      
      Excessive… or successful?
      - Shatman
        
        Excessful?
      - Hectate
        
        Successive.
      - PaulishMH
        
        Exactly how I was going to reply!
        Excessive, but for no reason other than efficiency.
- WaitWhat
  
  BEEP beep boop beep BOOP beeeeeeeeeeep
  
  boop
Wes

Oh man, I've been waiting for someone to make a good Short Circuit reference. I keep trying to make them and getting blank looks.

In fairness to everyone I'm pretty awful at it though. I once tried humming "Help Me, Rhonda" as a Short Circuit reference. Weak at best.
- @AnOlsenTwin
  
  Los Locos kick your ass!
  Los Locos kick you face!
  Los Locos kick your balls into outer spaaaaace!
oobgarm

I bet he's totally reading the History of Sexuality.
@GrahamGemmell

This might be the most high brow/pop culture strip ever written, and it's *hilarious*. XD
BradyDale

I loved Johnny 5. My mom used to go around saying, "Her pants are blazing for you."
@PGKosmal

Fischer Stevens is gold in that movie:
"I am sporting a tremendous woody!"
mudfoot

Oh god no Johnny. NOT FRANCE!

It's not worth it. Wait…. unless that's the french Cafe in the food court with the huge mural?
Christine

fourth panel: him wearing a 'meh' t-shirt in a starbucks in L.A.
RoboGoofers

Good for him, moving to France and all. I always wondered what happened to him. He must have renounced his US citizenship, i bet.
His English was never that good anyway. He probably had a silver tongue installed for French.

'course, if he discovers french cinema his head will explode.
Matthew

Is it just me or can you not help reading the line in ally sheedy's voice?
strombolus

third panel may be the best thing straub has ever drawn.
Donnyfightworld

Next: Rob The Robot discovers that life is just one big game of Gyromite. Or Stack Up.
Pope Johnathan V

Bonjour, je m'apelle Petit Jean Cinq.
oobgarm

This comic needs a "help me Rhonda" tag
o0o

As the archaeology of thought easily shows, man is an invention of recent date. And one perhaps nearing its disassemblage.
@gCrusher

Foucault… Michel-madness-sexuality-justice-institutions-curing-fascism-life–AAHH! More input!
tommasz

Ah, the French. They love the "they all die in the end", don't they?
RoboGoofers

Today it's Focault, Tomorrow it's Nietzsche. Then comes Machiavelli. And the next thing you know, Johnny 5 builds himself a pair of legs, changes his name to Johnny 'Skynet' 5, and takes over the world.
- Wheatley
  
  Just got finished reading the HARDEST one, actually. Machiavelli. Have you read that?
  - Uerian
    
    The hardest? Oh, Wheatley, it's obvious that you've yet to read Aristotle's theses on mashy spike plates.
- Slater
  
  Johnny Five is Alive !!!….. a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton.
- wykstrad
  
  I don't get it. Why is he going backwards? All he needs to do is lateral from Foucault to Heidegger, and there's like a 32% chance he'll end up a robot nazi.
PJpj

Then Georgie Luke gets ahold of the story, and now Johnny 5 has a new lease on Robo-Life as the Robo-Pope of the Robo-Catholic Church… where he takes the Papal name Robo-Goofers V.

THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE
Reignleif

I can't make any jokes about this one because I don't know who/what Foucalt is.
danielbingham

Great strip bring back checkerboard nightmare!
- krisstraub
  
  hey, knock it off. i appreciate that you like chex but this is not going to make me do anything.
rkwe

Philosopher Johnny Five t-shirt is necessary
Dog Houston

I don't care that it's been 3 years. I am totally bothered that he's reading Foucault instead of Sartre or Camus. Reading Foucault can be perfectly depressing, but not for reasons of confronting mortality. He's more of a no one has original thoughts / we're all part of a cultural moment / everyone is enmeshed in a system of power kind of guy, if your looking for bummers.

I've said my piece. Thank you. I imagine this will open a new flood of comments.

no disassemble

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