star trek: warp doctor

Sep05

on September 5, 2011

warp doesn’t describe the speed he works at though! it took him 20 minutes to diagnose the core misalignment issue which had wrecked the dilithium crystals

it took 21 minutes for the ship to explode, so he still got his joke out in time, don’t worry

└ Tags: bad sci-fi joke, doctor, star trek, the science of medicine, warp core, warp speed, what is that shiny doctor disk that means doctor in cartoons

Jesse

It's a head mirror, worn by otorhinolaryngologists to reflect light onto whatever they're looking at. Largely replaced by pen lights these days.
- Emperor Jim
  
  Been checking Wikipedia, huh?
  - Sheila O_o
    
    Still, people still don't know what an ENT is anyway. That would have been more esoteric.
    - o0o
      
      an ent is basically a treant, but with more copyright issues.
- macsnafu
  
  I wasn't asking.
Snow_Dogs

The good news is that it was all a holodeck programme designed by the doctor so he could deliver the zinger…
the bad news is that due to a space time anomoly caused by a nearby imploding dwarf comet field everything that happened in the holodeck was turned into reality.
- Simon_Roberts
  
  yeah but it's okay because everyone was stored in the teleporter buffer program
  
  unfortunately they all wound up rematerializing on some primitive planet without warp capability, and now they have to struggle to maintain the prime directive
  
  there now we've touched on every universal next-gen plot I think
  - macsnafu
    
    They're stuck on a primitive planet involved in a terrorist cold-war! Managed by the Master Computer! Oh, wait, you said Next-Gen…
- scarfyeatsduck
  
  'dilithium crystals'? 'imploding dwarf comet field'??? Wait are you guys making this stuff up?
Holo-Dr. House

Dr. Warp is an idiot. Every ship's core lies.
This one had a Warp-Three-way with the Romulan ship Haakona and the Iconians.
Reboot the computer. She'll live.
- Emperor Jim
  
  But how will Dr. Warp get over his addiction to hyposprays? Stay tuned!
Totema

I am pondering why a 23rd Century doctor needs an head mirror. Also, he's wearing it wrong; it's supposed to go over his eye. Does he even have a medical degree, or is he just there for comic relief?
- Guest
  
  That's his deflector array. He needs it at warp. He can also remodulate the frequencies to create all sorts of useful particle streams.
Ben

It's too bad Warp Doctor's series premier was also its series finale.
stise

Warp doctor's looking really Calvin-y in the last panel. Say what you will about his diagnostic skills, he's got excellent taste in self-satisfied posturing.
Haven

Too bad he couldn't follow it up with a corect corese of action.
JehuGarroutte

After the horrific explosion, an anachronistic Italian plumber was quoted as saying, "Ahh, the core wrecked-a me" before expiring.
- nabarbour
  
  This was so terrible it made me wince.
briandu

it's still better than star trek: neelix nights
Sortelli

This would have been my favorite series if it was real
Chris J

When the core's got a problem, the solution is to always eject.

Unless the special effects budget is too small to actually show an ejecting core. In that case, the core problem becomes a plasma manifold problem.
- Jai
  
  If there's one thing I learned from Trek, it's that you can almost NEVER eject the core when you need to. Seriously, they need to find a better core-ejecting process or something. Maybe have a detachable Engineering section saucer?
  
  Fortunately, it always seems to work out, anyway.
MegaSmack

I love Trek strips.
Jai

Show me on the model starship where the "warp doctor" stuck that probe, ship's core. There is no judgement here. This is a safe engineering bay.
tradertimm

Star Trek gave the psuedo-technical writers association excellent paying work over the years.

Core problem?

Re-align the tachyon flow with negative-charged plasma to the reaction chamber!

Alien Shields resist your phasers?

Modulate the beam with cross-phase reverse polarity!

But in the end, they were done in by their own hubris. Or do they simply need to warp around the sun, causing an anti-hubris plasma field, which then can…

movies with mikey: the thinking person's movie reviews

star trek: warp doctor

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