i think lovecraft wrote about this captain, he’s the innsmouth taintman
love what you do, guys
the slime of the ancient mariner?
Starfish are like ocean vaginas.
The Old Man in the Sea.
"Oh, Santiago, you're a real seaman!"
Guys, we need fuzz guitars.
Together, we can make classic literary porno.
that must be the abridged version
"Someday this will all be yours, son."
Now THAT's foreshadowing exposition…
*Cue the "Circle of Life" music.
What, the curtains?
"Make sure you wear a condom though, salt in your peehole is no laughing matter."
I suppose if the son turns out to be gay, there are always fishdicks.
Wait…is that why sea water is so salty?
Oh God, I ate like half a box of saltwater taffy, I think I'm gonna be sick…
The fact that Pops loved the sea and begot a son makes his advice horrifying on a level that puts "Oedipus Rex" to shame.
Putting the sub(marine) in sub(marine)text.
"Dad, why are we alone in the ocean?"
"Hush son… you'll see soon enough."
I'm now wondering about the optimal circumference needed for a male member to give the sea a seagasm…
I hate having these thoughts.
Probably optimal place would be somewhere in the Bermuda-triangle? A mythical place, just like the g-spot.
Probably the optimal place would be somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. A mythical spot, like the g… uhm… spot.
Aha, weird Bermuda triangle was messing with my uploading, a magnetic irregularity i guess
What a freaky fish guy!
They are seamen.
Some other advise for his son: "It's not the size of the boat that matters, it's the motion in the ocean."
This gives the song "Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)" a whole new level.
A more literal, kind of disturbing level…
Don't question the old man's affairs with the ocean. The sea and he gave birth to and raised a fine young son who will pick up where his father left off in sexing his mother.
the sea nearest to me (the irish sea) is the most radioactive sea in the world according to greenpeace. many fisherman here are eagerly looking forward to the appearance of mutant sea-boobs in the coming years.
I've got five great seas… the Lake sisters:
Superior, who always thinks that she is but really she isn't, she's just higher than everybody else.
Michigan, who's always being a bitch (again).
Huron. Should be pronounced as "urine". She loves the watersports.
Erie. She's a weird one.
Ontario. Shallow, cold…
but the joke's on all of them 'cause I just had a sip of Champlain and later on I'll be gettin' me some Finger Lake action!
This is the sea-quel that Ernest Hemingway would have written…
“But think again,” said the witch; “for when once your shape has become like a human being, you can no more be a mermaid. You will never return through the water to your sisters, or to your father’s palace again; and if you do not win the love of the prince, so that he is willing to forget his father and mother for your sake, and to love you with his whole soul, and allow the priest to join your hands that you may be man and wife, then you will never have an immortal soul. The first morning after he marries another your heart will break, and you will become foam on the crest of the waves.”
The old man was married to the sea, but the boat was his mistress. He would make sweet love to that boat. He would stay inside her for days on end, while she sailed his wife. You see, the boat was also the sea's mistress.
The sea is vast, and open; it cares not for traditional marriage boundaries. And the sea had always loved boats. She loved feeling their smooth hulls caress her surface, and the vibration of the engines. And sometimes she became so aroused that her throes of ecstasy would suck down ships and men into her depths, never to return.
buy the sea jewelery and the sea will suck your dick
Wouldn't a more accurate statement be do what you love?
This family eventually gave up the sea and settled into the backwoods of Arkansas, though they never gave up keein' the lovin' 'n the family.
So is the sea his grandmother?
Son, I'm not going to lie, wear protection. Or you'll end up with a deaf mute child like I did.