Synopsis. Nuclear testing awakens an undersea beast that threatens the city of Tokyo, California. The creature is dubbed “Godzilla’s Monster” for its discoverer Dr. Lloyd Godzilla (Bryan Cranston).
- Director Gareth Edwards expressed a lot of enthusiasm in remaking Godzilla, saying “I could make a way better Godzilla movie than those stupid old ones. I mean, the first one wasn’t even in color. I turned it off.”
- The original screenplay included the twist ending that the monster intended no harm, and just happened to be walking near buildings being demolished for safety reasons.
- The motion capture for the monster was provided by Greg Waterford, a 500-foot-tall actor.
- Director trademark. Character looking up and accidentally swallowing their cigarette to indicate awe.
- To cut costs, many of the destruction shots were recycled from 2013’s Pacific Rim. This is why the university research facility looks exactly like Gipsy Danger.
- Slide whistle sound effects and comical horn honks were added to each on-screen death to help avoid an R rating.
- Director trademark. Character quipping “That’s gonna leave a mark” after witnessing the trampling death of 80,000 civilians.
- The monster’s only spoken line, “What hath God wrought,” was voiced by Anthony Hopkins in an uncredited role.
- Director trademark. Protagonist’s ability to draw a 140-meter-tall monster’s attention by shouting “Hey, down here!”
- The University of Phoenix does not offer a Leviathanic Sciences doctorate program.
- Plot hole. The attempt to explain how a creature of this size could move when out of the ocean is nonsensical: air is not “another kind of water.”
- Having been in hibernation for “millions of years” and never having encountered homo sapiens before, it seems unlikely that the creature would come to a populated area specifically to eat children’s brains.
- Remiss ratio. Even with its size, the creature does not possess the arm span necessary to punch the moon from the sky.
- It would take more flour than currently exists on Earth to bake the giant croissant scientists use to lure the creature onto the booby-trapped ferris wheel.
- Motivation mistake. In the attack helicopter, Sgt. Griff Maximum (Hugh Jackman) shouts “Looking for me, ugly?” The monster was not looking for him.
- A 30,000-square-foot rope net would be much too large and heavy to fire from the barrel of an L96A1 sniper rifle.
- The monster has an impossibly huge stride, as indicated by it standing in London, then taking one step to reach New York. Yet somehow Elle Brody (Elizabeth Olsen) is able to outrun the monster, saying “It’ll never catch up to us, thanks to the 2014 Honda CR-V’s superior traction control.”
- To ensure racer safety, ESPN would have likely cancelled the motocross event rather than continue the race on the monster’s back after it walked through the X-Games.
- An animal would have no reason to evolve hit points.
- Crossover confusion. Dr. Lloyd Godzilla uses an Aperture Science portal gun to safely escape debris from the collapsing hospital. The portal gun is never mentioned again.
- The scientists never settle on a classification for the creature, based on dialogue like “it’s like a gecko, it’ll just regenerate forever” and “time to show that giant fucking bird who’s boss.”
- It is never explained how it was possible to stop Godzilla by uploading a computer virus.
- After-credits scene. It would be physically impossible for Godzilla to mate with a household iguana.
Dr. Lloyd Godzilla. This is like the line from the Bhagavad-Gita, times ten billion. “I am become Ultra-Vishnu, destroyer of giga-worlds.”
Sgt. Griff Maximum. Maybe we can kill that thing from the inside.
Elle Brody. You’re insane. We have no idea of that thing’s internal structure —
Sgt. Griff Maximum. I saw that thing gobble my hometown and fart out my high school. If it can fart… that means it has a butthole. If it has a butthole, then it has a tummy. And if it has a tummy… we can give it a tummyache.
Dr. Lloyd Godzilla. He’s right. By God, he’s right.
Otherling Elder. We call ourselves the Otherlings. We are the Men who came Before. Thousands of years ago, this beast laid waste to our civilization. But our surviving ancestors hid on its back, and built new cities. There, we were able to thrive.
Dr. Lloyd Godzilla. So that’s what happened to the neanderthals.
Elle Brody. There’s enough meat here to feed the world’s population ten times over. And its corpse is full of enough healing compounds to usher in a new age of medicine.
Dr. Lloyd Godzilla. Sounds like it was worth it losing the moon.
Doctor Who – The Day of the Doctor (2013)
The screenplay predictive algorithms at Saw It For You got a little breather this weekend — despite their best efforts, they could not have foreseen the crazy plot twists and turns in the BBC’s 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who. I got a chance to watch it in the backseat of a Mercury minivan, and it is truly mind-blowing. Don’t get left behind around the water cooler — we’ve got the inside goods on The Day of the Doctor.
Synopsis. The 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who at long last deals with the central mystery of the series: who was Blatchley-Down Crimmits?
- According to series writer Steven Moffat, “the 50th anniversary of the show was a wonderful opportunity to revisit why the Doctor can never be a woman.”
- For the first time, overt product placement has crept into Doctor Who, such as the T-Mobile logo on the TARDIS door and the 11th Doctor’s Sonicare Screwdriver.
- A new catchphrase from the episode has already caught on like wildfire in the fan community: “Goobly-gorbly physics-wizzics”
- Peter Capaldi as the 12th Doctor was only visible for a brief moment, but still long enough to speak his signature line: “Some motherfuckers always trying to ice skate uphill.”
- In addition to Capaldi’s official reveal, close examination of the figure behind him shows his likely companion: Selena Gomez.
- This marks the first time the Doctor had a trademark tool other than the sonic screwdriver: the sonic Colt AR-15 semi-automatic service rifle with night scope.
- Due to Alex Kingston’s unavailability, the part of River Song in the episode was recast and played by Cardboard Standup of Alex Kingston.
- The TARDIS Time Clown was voiced by Breckin Meyer.
- Plot hole. Doctor Who (BBC, 1963-2013).
- Continuity error. A highly anticipated scene where the 10th and 11th Doctors make out does not appear in the episode, despite being promised in an interview Steven Moffat did in my fanfic.
- In the scene where River Song and the War Doctor are escaping the Dalek King, a real TARDIS is visible behind the prop TARDIS.
- When the 11th Doctor points his sonic screwdriver at the Cyberhorse, he shouts “expecto patronum.” The line is supposed to be “science fiction version of expecto patronum.“
- When Rory’s parallel clone asks how they used the TARDIS to escape when it had been “completely disabled” the entire episode, the Doctor forgets to disarmingly smile in a charming, goofy way that can be made into an animated GIF.
- Incorrectly regarded as goof. In many of the scenes where the Doctor uses his new transforming multi-sonic screwdriver, he holds out an empty hand as if the visual effects for the CGI screwdriver are missing. However, the screwdriver can activate an “invisibility mode” whenever it feels like it.
- Incorrectly regarded as goof. In space combat, the TARDIS shakes violently, but sometimes its passengers do not react to the shaking, making it seem like the actors missed their cue to shake along with the camera. This is because the TARDIS can activate an “inertial stability booster” whenever it feels like it.
- Incorrectly regarded as goof. There is no reference in all fifty years of Doctor Who to “telepathic time coins,” but when the Doctor says “Of course! The telepathic time coins I always carry!” he is not wrong; it’s just an example of ever-changing, impossible-to-predict ebb and flow of the time stream.
- Telepathic time coins would likely not be accepted by London toll booths.
- Come to think of it, given all the Doctor’s resources, having the TARDIS be stopped at a regular toll booth for three hours due to a lack of exact change seems unlikely.
- When the War Doctor’s faceplate falls off to reveal that he’s actually a Cyberman piloted by a Dalek mutant, you can see the other faceplate accidentally shift long before the second reveal that he’s actually just the War Doctor.
- Plot hole. In the first thirty seconds of the cold open, the universe is at risk because “all possible universes are imploding at infinity billion times the speed of light” and the 11th Doctor has only “one-over-infinity seconds to re-explode all impossible negative universes” to prevent the infinite oh my God who cares I can’t believe this is even a thing, how can you have drama when the stakes are ratcheted this high every five minutes
The War Doctor. Never or always forget, and remember: everything and nothing is always and/or never possible, or not.
The 11th Doctor. I couldn’t have put it better or worse myself.
The 10th Doctor. Or selves.
TARDIS. Or nonselves.
The 11th Doctor. (wistfully, near tears) Or both. Or neither. Or neither and both simultaneously, as well as simultaneously not simultaneously.
TARDIS. Doctor, I’m so happy to be both a metaphor for your wife, and an inanimate utility device you travel inside.
The 11th Doctor. We’ve been caught in a stable time nexoid — an intersection of all realities — and we had no idea.
River Song. How long have we been here?
The 11th Doctor. Our whole lives. Also, never.
(violins swell and soar as River Song shrugs in epic slow motion)
(100 Years Later…)
The War Doctor. And the Doctor escaped to fight another day.
Dog. B-but what happened to his companions? And the TARDIS worm? And the dark energy being??
The War Doctor. Ahh, all very good stories in and of themselves! But also stories… for another day.
Dog. Awww. (whines)
We here at Saw It For You are psyched to reveal the secrets behind Gravity, the highly anticipated space thriller from Alfonso Cuaron. It won’t be in theaters until October 2013, but we found a near-complete work print of the movie while breaking into a condemned Winchell’s Donuts in Burbank, California. This modern-day sci-fi tale’s striking visuals and heart-pounding action sequences will leave you breathless… and gravityless.
Continue reading “Saw It For You: Gravity (2013)”