Saw It For You: Jurassic World (2015)

_1392673279Jurassic World (2015)

Synopsis. John Hammond’s dream of a thriving dinosaur amusement park is finally and successfully realized, but a genetic contingency designed to take away the dinosaurs’ legs if they escape backfires, and instead gives the dinosaurs extra legs.

Tagline. They thought they didn’t have a leg to stand on. Now they’re legging it for their lives.

Social media promotion. “Tweet with hashtag #legday for a chance to win Chris Pratt’s 1998 Ford Taurus.”

Trivia

  • Jurassic World is the first film in the Jurassic Park franchise to be written by Fanfiction.net user SnapexMalfoy2039.
  • Chris Pratt’s character’s name, “John Clevergirl,” is a reference to the original Jurassic Park (1993).
  • Animators spent four months under the direction of Phil Tippett to compose the 200+ effects shots of the movie’s villain: a super-intelligent ultrasaurus leg with a knee-mounted surface-to-air missile launcher.
  • This movie perhaps leans the hardest on the franchise’s “man vs. the natural order” subtext, as evidenced by the final line of dialogue, “That settles it. Science can only destroy.”
  • This is director Colin Trevorrow’s first film, not counting his other movie.

Mistakes

  • Continuity. A flashlight changes hands between shots during the scene where scientists discover a dead dilophosaur had been evolving rudimentary helicopter blades.
  • An animal that is just “a wheel of legs” without a brain, digestive tract or internal organs would not be able to commandeer an emergency loudspeaker system.
  • Incorrectly regarded as goof. Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero) returns, a lawyer who was torn in half and eaten in the original Jurassic Park. A scene which was cut for time explains his survival — when asked about it, Gennaro replies “That was a long time ago.”
  • Despite the similarity of the words, dinosaurs would not be attracted to dynamite.
  • Chairwoman Beth Lifefindsaway (Bryce Dallas Howard) tells Clevergirl to have a seat across from her. When the camera angle changes, she is clearly the actress who played Victoria from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.
  • Technical error. When the movie ends, the credits cannot roll past the words “The End” which never fade out and leave the screen. The credits crowd and bunch up beneath, filling the screen with a jumble of white letters. In most theaters, there is an apology, and the credits are then read aloud by an usher.

Callbacks and Homages

  • John Hammond Jr. greets investors by extending his toilet seat from its stall on hydraulic rails (The Lost World)
  • The surface of the water in the toilet bowl ripples from a low bass sound (Jurassic Park)
  • Every time Clevergirl is referred to by his last name (Jurassic Park)
  • All the dinosaurs have sharp teeth (Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Jurassic Park 3)
  • The title Jurassic World contains the word “Jurassic” (Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park 3)
  • Characters refer to elevators as ianmalcolms, as in the line “Hold the ianmalcolm for me, wouldja?” (Jurassic Park)
  • A red vial is labeled “Grimlock DNA” (Transformers: Age of Extinction)

Memorable Quotes

Security system AI. 5-LEGGED VELOCIRAPTOR NOT IDENTIFIED AS DINOSAUR. OPENING GATE.

John Clevergirl. Your T-rex has evolved enough legs to jump into low Earth orbit.
Scientist. My God.

Beth Lifefindsaway. We can escape to the Galaxy, my personal boat. It’s moored in Dock B.
John Clevergirl. If it’s the only way off the island, we might have a fight on our hands. Will the others make it back in time?
Beth Lifefindsaway. We might have to guard the ship until then. We’d have to act as guardians.
John Clevergirl. Guardians of the Galaxy. I like the sound of that.
T-Rex. (shrugs directly into camera)

Saw It For You: Lucy (2014)

lucy

Lucy (2014)

In a freak accident, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is exposed to a chemical which allows her to use more than 10% of her brain, until she achieves the next level of human evolution at 100% brain capacity.

Tagline. “Human beings were given 100% of a brain. What would happen if we used more than 10% of it?”

Trivia

  • Director Luc Besson came under fire for perpetuating the myth that humans only use 10% of their brain. Besson shot back, saying he “could not hear 100% of criticism.”
  • The title “Lucy” is a reference to a partial Australopithecine skeleton found in Ethiopia. This is alluded to in the movie by characters mentioning the fact more than eighty times.
  • After reading pseudoscientific literature to prepare for her role, Scarlett Johansson was reportedly 10% brainwashed.

Incorrectly Regarded as Mistakes

  • Needing money to escape the country, Lucy contacts a Nigerian prince who deposits $16,300,000 in her checking account. Oddly, he does not require that Lucy pay the traditional $3,000 bank transaction fee first. However it is possible that the Nigerian prince is an old friend and owed her $16.3 million as a favor.
  • Lucy knocks a gangster’s tooth out which flies into a full bottle of Coke. In the next scene, the tooth is still clearly intact. The bottle may have been filled with Diet Coke, which may not have any tooth-dissolving properties.
  • A police detective picks Lucy out of a lineup despite never having been an eyewitness to her crimes. He may have used his pineal gland and its vestigial sense to grant him the “sight beyond sight” all humans have access to if they avoid fluoride.
  • The kid at the police station eats Pop Rocks and drinks soda, but never explodes. It is possible the explosion happened off-camera.
  • During the bar fight, Lucy breaks a mirror by throwing an attacker’s hunting knife through it. Though she does not appear any worse off following this, it could be said that the dangerous events of the movie are unlucky enough to denote the beginning of a seven-year period of bad luck.
  • After the revelation that Lucy is worried she’ll pass on her omnipotence to a child if she were to get pregnant, she recklessly has unprotected sex with the CIA agent assigned to her. However, the careful viewer will realize that she did take aspirin, an effective natural birth control method, beforehand.
  • Though it seems like a miracle, Lucy manages to lose her belly fat using one weird old tip.

Memorable Quotes

Police Officer. This is her dossier. She’s wanted for murder. Her name is Lucy.
Rookie. Like the partial Australopithecine skeleton from Ethiopia?
Police Officer. That’s right. That skeleton held one of the first clues that hominids walking upright actually preceded the evolution of a larger brain pan.
Rookie. Huh, guess that would make Lucy on the forefront of what we know as human evolution.
Police Officer. Do you mean Lucy the partial Australopithecine skeleton? Or the perp?
(Both Rookie and Police Officer turn to look at the camera, grinning wryly. The unblinking camera look lasts 85 seconds.)

Professor Norman. (played by Morgan Freeman) The brain only operates at 10%. The brain of a woman, perhaps 5 or 6%. She’s got nowhere to go but up.

Lucy. We have to disable the security cameras or they’ll be here in minutes.
CIA Agent. There’s no way to the control room from here!
Lucy.  Forget the control room. I just evolved a chromosome that can hack binary using air currents.

Interpol Chief. Give it up, Lucy! You’re surrounded. Come out with your brain and hands up!
Lucy. (to a cat) I need someone to distract them. I wish you could help me, kitty cat.
Cat. (via subtitles) I can. All cats have the ability to understand human speech, we just lack vocal chords to speak back.
Lucy. And I just unlocked the DNA cell for language.

Luc Besson. Hello audience, I am Luc Besson. I hope you learned something from all the facts in my movie.

Saw It For You: Pompeii in 3D (2014)

pompeii
Pompeii in 3D (2014)

An ancient Roman settlement leveled by a volcano in 79 AD holds the key to the rise of Christianity, as a 79-year-old Jesus Christ emerges from exile to stop the subterranean Lavatorg.

Tagline. Get Pomped

Trivia

  • Executives greenlit Pompeii despite focus group concerns that it was “too soon.”
  • Upon viewing the ruins, director Paul W.S. Anderson was disappointed to learn there was no modern-day Pompeii. He remarked that the discovery “would hinder the sequel somewhat.”
  • To deliver realistic lava movement, CGI artists began studying footage of water with red food coloring in it. Anderson grew quite fond of the footage, and it was used instead of CGI. This is why the lava looks ridiculous.
  • Actor Kit Harington was given the lead role after surprising casting directors with a 20-minute, incredibly convincing performance of what it would look and sound like to be burned alive.
  • Further investigation led to Harington’s arrest for a string of arson-related murders in the 1990s.
  • The name of the movie was changed very late in development, from its original title “Magmapocalypse: Rise of the Lava Surfers.”

Mistakes

  • Throughout the movie, characters refer to the settlement as “Pom-PEE-eye-EYE.”
  • The citizens of Pompeii were not “Romulans.”
  • Architectural Accident. Senator Impudius is leaning against a column when he answers his cellphone. The column is of the composite order, borrowing from both Ionic and Corinthian design. This style of column did not exist until 82 AD, three years later.
  • Anachronism. Craxtus is felled by a fast-moving spear, as a rebel hundreds of yards away looks up from a high-powered scope. There were no snipers in 79 AD.
  • “Pompeii” is not plural.
  • Director’s trademark. Looking up from a meal in shock, mouth agape as a single unchewed shrimp tumbles out.
  • Horses in the 1st Century were not much different from modern-day horses. They were not a dozen stories tall, nor were they “commonly used” to hide hundreds of soldiers inside. 
  • Historical oversight. Although lava and ash killed all of the citizens of Pompeii, most of them were already dying of unbridled gonorrhea.
  • In reality, the volcano that destroyed Pompeii was not stalking a corrupt legionnaire.
  • Anachronism. Fashion magazines.
  • Molten lava itself is not technically flammable, and would not be diverted by “fighting fire with fire.”
  • Anachronism. “Beef Wellies.”
  • The senate building did not have graffiti of penises and vaginas all over its walls. It is possible the location scout confused Pompeii’s brothel with the seat of government.
  • There was no senate building in Pompeii. The screenwriter may have confused the small settlement with Rome.
  • Breathing ash does not infect humans with “volcanism, which is causing them to vomit lava.”
  • Anachronism. 540 on vert to varial method air.
  • Anachronism. Fire extinguishers.
  • Anachronism. Leonardo da Vinci.
  • The title card “The End” appears four separate times throughout the movie.
  • After-credits scene. A 21st Century city with skyscrapers and highways. Chyron: “Modern-day Pompeii.” A volcano pushes its way past a mountain range and strides into a bay, the earth shaking. Smash to black on a bloodcurdling volcano shriek.

Memorable Quotes

Craxtus. The people of Rome have lost their decency. The volcanoes are our punishment.
Cramulus Varigulus. The only thing causing volcanoes is your ignorance of the natural world, and Jupiter having sex with mountains.

Senator Impudius. With my power consolidated here in Pompeii, the capital of Rome, I shall send armies to the north to destroy the pharaohs of Egypt. Then… onto America.

Decimus Romulus Chimulus Bimulus. (drowning-in-lava noise)