the finalist dishes:

• truffled quail with raw quail egg dusted with smoked salt and powdered gold
• herb-crusted duck with foie gras, green onion and shaved pork belly
• a half-eaten bag of doritos

i went rock climbing up those walls last night and this is what i learned up there, from the wisdom of the mountain

please stay on the line for the next available loved one

this is obviously a complete fiction

there is no lucasfilm star wars complaints department

we’ll send one of our mealboys straight to your table. then the countdown begins! our mealboy robots will try everything to escape, so watch out… there goes your dinner! try these family favorites:

• italian mealboy
• chinese mealboy
• american comfort mealboy
• spa mealboy (350 calories per serving)
• mealboy jr. (cannot walk; for kids under 5)

“come on dudes, let’s hit the bar and drink yucky bitter soda for a little!”

you know how you’re at work right now, but your grandfather is behind you and you know his head is one of those dried apple doll heads, but you can’t turn to look because you somehow know you’ll die if you do?

that means it’s working(tm)

we have met roger before, and he wasn’t any better of a liar back then either

the disconnect seems to lie in his lack of understanding of how concepts interrelate

whatever the thing that got you into this is, do it more for the solution :D

this is one tradition i do not understand, never will understand

grooms, don’t… don’t go foraging up your bride’s leg for sexy underthings in front of your nana

i don’t get why your folks need to see you in a mock sexual operation