PAX Aus 2016!


I’m going to be on the Real Hemisphere for PAX Australia 2016, November 4-6! You can find me at my Bandland table, where I will have an assortment of delights, including the out-of-print Broodhollow books 1 and 2 (!!!), Pinny Arcade pins, and some new items not even in my shop yet!!

Plus I’ll be joined by podsman Paul Verhoeven where we’ll be signing 28 Plays Later posters and CDs!

but kris, what panels will you be on

Let me talk about merch for chrissakes! I need to make a living! My child is hungry!!

me no no give money, me me see panels

You monsters! All right! Fine! Here!

Friday 4/11

Nanojam 2.0: Live Game Design

  • FRIDAY 4/11 2:00PM – 3:00PM

Game design is usually a lengthy, iterative process. Experts spend countless hours massaging ideas into viable games. But what if we wanted to design over the course of, say, a PAX panel? What if we wanted to design a whole bunch of games?

Nanojam is a game design fracas featuring a panel of designers producing game ideas based on audience suggestions, with an artist and a composer frantically sketching and composing live on stage.

It’s a mess. A big, wonderful, hilarious mess. Join us!

Jackbox at PAX … box

  • FRIDAY 4/11 5:00PM – 6:00PM

Do you like Quiplash 2? Of course you do!

Well you should check out this panel and watch Penny Arcade and friends play this awesome game. If you are unfamiliar, it’s just gonna be a bunch of hilarious people making snarky responses to questions while you vote on a winner live from your phone.

Scared Yet: A Discussion of Horror in Media

  • FRIDAY 4/11 9:00PM – 10:00PM

Jump scare! Kris Straub (Chainsawsuit, Broodhollow, Candle Cove) and a panel of esteemed horror and video game enthusiasts hold an informal roundtable on where fear works best in gaming and other media, and where it doesn’t make the cut.

Saturday, 5/11

Pitch Your Game Idea

  • SATURDAY 5/11 6:30PM – 7:30PM

You’ve got 45 seconds to deliver your idea to our panel of experts. The top three pitches will be picked for prizes and swag! (Please note that this is an open forum – there’s nothing keeping anyone, judges and attendees alike, from stealing your ideas! If you’re not comfortable with this, please don’t pitch your idea!)

Sunday, 6/11

28 Plays Later: The World Tour! (Mostly Melbourne Edition)

  • SUNDAY 6/11 2:00PM – 3:00PM

The weekly gaming comedy podcast hosted by Kris Straub (Chainsawsuit, Broodhollow) and Paul Verhoeven (Steam Punks, ABC3) has returned! After their live show at last year’s PAX Australia and their live shows at PAX West, Kris and Paul are back! Weird animated shorts, video game banter, sketches and special musical guests, TRIPOD! Note: This show will be recorded! So you’ll be part of show history! By which we mean you’ll hear your sporadic laughter on a future episode!

PAX West 2016!

Updated August 29: Two new panels — Gears of War 4: For The Watch on Friday, PAXAMANIA on Sunday!


PAX West 2016 is around the corner, and if you’re there, grab a shovel or a cricket bat. Anything with a broad, flat surface, because the Washington State Convention Center is full of rats. Brown in color, though some have seen a few grays. Primarily brown.

These rats are big and getting out of hand. We need everyone to just take an hour or two out of their day to kill some of these rats. They’re supposed to be very smart, but they’re not hiding or anything. Could be that they’re nearly blind from all the poison.

What’s new at the booth?!

You can find me in Bandland, on Level 6 of the WSCC — take the North Lobby Level 4 escalators all the way up! I’ll be joined by 28 Plays Later co-host Paul Verhoeven in a rare North America appearance! If you’re lucky you’ll catch Mikey Neumann, Chief Creative Chainsawsuit Original Overlord Officer (CCCOOO).

I’ll have some new items on hand this year!


Friday, September 2

Gears of War 4: For The Watch
6:30 PM PAX Arena
PAX Founders Tycho and Gabe, Along with Their Hand-Picked Allies, Battle to the Death for the Ultimate Prize: The near Mythical Watch.

Saturday, September 3

28 Plays Later LIVE with Kris Straub and Paul Verhoeven
11:30 AM – 12:30 PM Wyvern Theatre
The comedy gaming podcast hits PAX West! Kris Straub (Chainsawsuit, Broodhollow) and Paul Verhoeven (The Project, Triple J) talk games, improv skits, and wander off on bizarre tangents — all while speaking to each other in wildly differing accents.

Pitch Your Game Idea
3:30 – 4:30 PM Chicken Theatre
You’ve got 45 seconds to deliver your idea to our panel of experts. The top three pitches will be picked for prizes and swag! (Please note this is an open forum – there’s nothing keeping anyone, judges and attendees alike, from stealing your ideas! If you aren’t comfortable with this, please don’t pitch your game.)

AppJunkies Live: The Worst Games Ever Made
5:00 – 6:00 PM Sasquatch Theatre
Join the AppJunkies as they highlight the best of the worst games, straight from the seedy side of the app store. It’s an entirely new lineup of horrible app disasters, so prepare to be amazed (and slightly stunned) at this fast-paced journey through the Land of Absurdity. Often dubbed “the MST3K of B-Grade apps,” it’s an hour of your life you won’t get back. Audience heckling encouraged…at least for those not rendered speechless.

Jackbox at PAX … box
7:00 – 8:00 PM Wyvern Theatre
Come check it out as Penny Arcade and friends play Quiplash and Drawful live on stage in what’s sure to be a delightful romp for the sense. Lots of wacky fun, amazing drawings that will bring out the child in all of us – I can guarantee with 100% certainty all of that will happen.

Sunday, September 4

PAX RUMBLE IV: Video Game Wrestling in a League of Heels
10:00AM – 11:30AM Wyvern Theatre
The now historic events of Paxamania II have left the league in even greater disarray than usual. Matches were decided by bribery, hypnotism, and giant monsters. Greg Miller stepped down as commissioner, leaving a power vacuum in the world of video game wrestling. Questions abound! Who is the new mystery owner of this league of heels? Which of the 30 game industry stars will win the PAX Rumble to earn their place in the title match with Samantha Kalman and Alex Navarro? Join us to find out!

Scared Yet? A Discussion of Horror in Media
3:00 – 4:00 PM Wyvern Theatre
Jump scare! Kris Straub (Broodhollow, Candle Cove) and a select panel of horror and video game enthusiasts hold an informal roundtable on where fear works best in gaming and other media, and where it doesn’t make the cut. Come for the frightening… stay for the enlightening.

Saw It For You: Suicide Squad (2016)

Suicide Squad (2016)

Tagline. This time, “the joke’s” on everyone.

Poster design. Planet Earth, being teabagged by what is assumed to be the Joker’s pale genitalia, with a smile drawn onto it, emerging from a pair of purple leather trousers. Tattooed on the side of the penis are the words “THE JOKE.” There is also an arrow, bearing the legend “This is you,” pointing at the Earth.


  • Will Smith agreed to star in Suicide Squad as long as he remained “aggressively unaware” of the movie. He was paid $35 million for the use of his likeness as the full-CGI character “Deadshot.” A Will Smith impersonator provided the voice.
  • Although the Joker (Jared Leto) has only four lines of dialogue, he is on screen for the full duration of the movie thanks to a small graphic overlay where a news station logo might normally be.
  • Suicide Squad is the first movie to give a clothing store (Hot Topic) a screenwriting credit.
  • There was talk of changing the Joker’s origin to show that he was an unwitting pawn of a hyper-intelligent anus which sang all of its dialogue operatically, but Jared Leto’s idea was shot down.
  • Cast and crew alike complained that they all had difficulty working with — even reading — the shooting script. The 230-page script was written in red thread on red leather jeans. It was worn by executive producer Zach Snyder.
  • Director David Ayer demanded that the 600-gallon tank in which the Enchantress (Cara Delevingne) drowns her victims to be filled with real blood. Negotiators were able to talk Ayer down to urine.
  • Following fan backlash, producers changed Margot Robbie’s character’s name back to “Harley Quinn.” The cast was called into post-production to dub over all instances of the name “Disco Titties.”
  • In response to Ghostbusters (2016), DC’s early marketing sought to position Suicide Squad as a feminist movie, putting special emphasis on scenes where female characters chose to be murdered by the Joker.
  • To soften the tone of the film, “Killer Croc” was renamed “Alleged Killer Croc.”
  • Due to pressure on the MPAA, Suicide Squad is the first G-rated film to portray a decapitation at the moment of orgasm.


  • The United Nations Headquarters does not have an “emergency roller coaster.”
  • Continuity. The Joker’s lower back tattoo occasionally reads “BIGEST FART” instead of “BIGGEST FART.”
  • Katana (Karen Fukuhara) wields a Scottish claymore for the entirety of Suicide Squad, repeatedly claiming that it is an “authentic Japanese weapon.” In the after-credits scene, as a nod to the audience, the claymore splits open to reveal it had always contained a katana. However, a Scottish claymore with a katana inside continues to not be an authentic Japanese weapon.
  • Incorrectly regarded as mistake. Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) only appears in crocodile monster form briefly in his first scene, right before a government agent shoots him with a “decrocodilizing ray.” While this seems like it could have been a cost-saving measure to avoid doing makeup for the character, the government agent does say “this decrocodilizing ray will let you blend in, Croc.” Killer Croc is then absent for the rest of the movie.
  • Equipment error. All characters load their firearms by pouring bullets into the muzzle.
  • An object with the word “boomerang” written on it will not then act like a boomerang.
  • A boomerang with the words “[character name]’s boomerang” written on it would not “return” to that character with lethal precision.
  • A boomerang would not be eligible for the Purple Heart, not even “the biggest one ever made.”
  • Credit confusion. The climactic signature line the Joker delivers before assassinating the President — “The Joker’s here to see ya, I’ll give ya diarrhea!” — was not ad-libbed, but in fact written by long-time Ayer collaborator Wesley Strick (Cape Fear).
  • Harley Quinn invites the Joker into her cell for sex despite it being impossible to be aroused by Jared Leto’s Joker.
  • It would take more bullets than were ever manufactured for Deadshot to “shoot the Earth back onto its axis.”
  • Suicide Squad has no ending. The movie is still playing in the theater; audiences just all tend to leave around the same part.

Memorable Quotes

Amanda Waller (Viola Davis)What we need is some kind of squad that answers to us, is completely expendable, and gives us full deniability.
Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman)A squad prepared to kill themselves… to complete the mission.
Amanda Waller. Exactly. Exactly that, in a squad.
Rick FlagKill themselves… squad. We could call them the Suic —
MTV’s Are You The One’s Gio in an uncredited cameo. Hey, are you the ones making all that noise? Keep it down!

Deadshot. I made my daughter a promise. I promised never to commit suicide. If I join your squad, what does that say about me?
Harley Quinn. It’s not literally about suicide. It’s just called that because of how dangerous it is.
Deadshot. Whew, that makes me feel a lot better.

The Joker. Let old Joker put a smile on that sad face! A smile… of blood! (he holds up a dead raccoon with Christmas lights on it that spell the word “AIDS”) Aw… did the bad man scare you? What if I… go pee-pee on the Bible!
Government agent. You’ve gone too far, Joker! Stop!
The Joker. Uh oh! This clown needs to wipe up this mess… and this should do nicely… (he reaches for an American flag)
Government agent. I’m questioning everything!

Read more Saw It For You entries