• Jeff Keys

    I was young enough when the first two movies came out that I've seen them plenty of times, but I haven't *really* seen them, because I was a dumb kid who was just happy to see dinosaurs. I didn't even remember the gymnastics scene! It probably seemed logical to me that a child could easily defeat an ancient, deadly predator—I'm sure deep down, I was confident I could have done the same with the karates that all young boys say they have.

    Things I liked: This video, Mikey, and really just life in general.
    Things I didn't like: I think we could have done with more Mikey sadness-eating. Like, a lot more.

  • Kurt Lanson

    I absolutely loved the whole Classic Jeff laughtrack stuff.

  • BostonSeanyD

    I want to talk a little about "the scene"
    I'm no scientist, but the mass of the raptor, I think, would be more then the force exerted by the 98 pound girl. So i'm pretty sure she would bounce off the raptor after kicking the beast.
    If she was moving fast enough to plunge the dinosaur out of the building she would break her ankles.

    But hey, I'm no scientist

    • BostonSeanyD

      oh right, i forgot about hollow bones, statement redacted

      • ThomasG

        yeah, if she got one good hit, you'd think it might have made a very confused raptor stumble back, but geez would it take a lot to knock something through a wall (even weathered wood). And it's not like she's doing the giant move to build up her speed.

        Classic Jeff was awesome btw.

  • Poopinablanket

    Anyone else hear "bros before dinos" and think Gravity Falls? Because I hope I am not the only one. That is a wonderful show.

    Also, Vince Vaughn really is just a big ol' dummy for taking that baby T-Rex. What were you thinking, you big goof?

  • ThomasG

    As a kid, I recall being thrown by the state of the ship that arrives on the mainland. You could grasp the mood that the movie attempted to set: silent ship, missing crew, omg what happened this is spooky. But it was just a T-Rex. Which is a ridiculous thing to say, but really, if you asked which monster I'd like to share such a ship with, I'd pick T-Rex. The beast is waaaay to big to fit into cabins and such; it won't be able to cut through steel wall after steel wall to get to me, and tiny arms, dude! Can't open doors! But in the film, there are body parts in all kinds of places. I thought raptors were on the boat as well; it seemed like the only explanation. But nope, it was just a T-Rex. Which for some reason left a pile of arms in the undamaged main cabin. This proved very disappointing to my 7th-grade self.

    Limiting the invasion to T-Rex severely limited the stakes of what went down. Our guns are simply too good to make Tyrannosaurs large-scale threats. It felt like there was a missed opportunity here, that the punch was pulled: if scores of other dinos came along on the same boat (especially compys and the like, upon a kind of "Dark Ark"), you'd have invasive species that could matter on the large scale. People would catch them and try to make them their pets. Raptors could become prolific. The problem could become truly epidemic. But, instead, it was limited to one very confused T-Rex. Not scary, kind of goofy, but admittedly still pretty cool looking.